Breakthrough Communicators: How to establish an instant connection

Hello,

Christopher Peck here with Speak Into Action Communications.

Today we learn 'How to Establish an Instant Connection.'

Breakthrough Communicators build immediate rapport in our personal and professional interactions. We are able to disarm self-defense mechanisms and speak directly to the child in charge.

We do this, first and foremost, by making eye contact. That's right, find the iris and hold that gaze.

Here's the kicker: it does not matter the format. Whether it is in person, on video, or over the phone, Breakthrough Communicators make eye contact.

So what does that look like?

In-Person: Make eye contact at least 70% of the time. This benefits both parties.

Ever heard the saying, "the shortest distance between two points is a straight line"?

The shortest distance between you and the child in charge is eye contact.

The energy of your intention and expectation flows directly to your intended target.

Furthermore, when you are making eye contact with your other, they are making eye contact with you. Which means they are more likely to hear and receive the information you are sharing, and you’re building greater know, like, and trust and stronger personal and professional relationships.

Now, on the occasion you are not making eye contact--the other 30%--establish a focus window extending from the top of your other's head to the top of their chest and from shoulder to shoulder. Your focus never leaves this window unless the conversation requires focus elsewhere.

On Video: Make eye contact, not with your other but with your video camera. This creates the illusion of eye contact and encourages the same direct flow of intention and expectation. Be relentless in your commitment to this focus. Whereas face-to-face communication allows for 30%, you need to always stay directly connected to your other on video. There are too many distractions which can easily be triggered in a moment of disconnect. Video is hard so be unwavering in your eye contact.

Over-the-Phone: Arguably the most difficult platform for developing immediate rapport. Guess what? Make eye contact. Visualize the other person, find the iris, and meet their gaze the entire conversation.

What this does is ensure your focus and commitment to the conversation. You cannot harness your other's attention, over-the-phone, the way you can on video and in-person. But you can influence their attention and connection by focusing your intention and expectation directly to them.

Do this by visualizing eye contact.

So here's what I want you to do over the next few days:

Add eye contact to your commitment to conversation, intention, expectation, and seeing the child in charge.

Take those five daily conversations, and unless you are currently committed to self-isolation, spread them between in-person, video, and phone conversations.

If you're great in person, but hate the phone, spend more time on the phone.

If you spend all day on Zoom calls, make time for in-person.

But practice, practice, practice finding the iris and making eye contact.

You may find resistance at first. Many people shy away from eye-contact as a way to protect their child in charge. As a show of good faith, let them see your child in charge. Vulnerability breeds vulnerability, authenticity breeds authenticity, and we build better relationships when we're vulnerable and authentic.

So make eye contact.

Thanks for reading everyone, remember to take these tips at your own pace. Take the time necessary to master your foundation of conversation, intention, expectation, and seeing the child in charge. Once that foundation is established, skills like eye contact will be easy to implement.

Breakthrough Communicators commit to a lifestyle. It doesn't happen overnight. As such, each of us will progress at our own pace. Just keep practicing.

As always like, comment, and share with your friends. This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications; helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

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