What's Your Process/Trust Your Process: Part 2, Trust Your Process!

Hey everyone,

Christopher Peck here with Speak Into Action Communications.

Welcome to Part 2 of What's Your Process/Trust Your Process:

Trust Your Process!

When I was twelve, as part of my middle school physical education class, I took archery. I loved it. And I was pretty good too. Two year running, the archery team I was on--Bullseye, clever huh--came in first place in our school wide tournament.

But back to the archery class:

The final exam was a performance exam. We would fire three arrows, and the total score would determine our grade.

I could not sleep the night before. Despite my success in the class I was concerned I wasn't prepared for the final. So I stayed up most of the night going over and over in my mind the correct mechanics for successfully firing an arrow.

The exam came and I was terrified. My breath was rapid, my body was shaking, my confidence was gone, and after firing three arrows my final score was…

Seven.

I was going to get a “D” on my final exam.

I was embarrassed, near tears, and in my defeat discovered something remarkable.

The freedom of letting go.

Every student was given a second chance. Three more arrows. I knew I couldn't do worse than seven, so I gave up overthinking and just trusted my muscle memory.

Arrow one: Bullseye

Arrow two: Bullseye

Arrow three: Almost bullseye

Twenty-five points. An "A."

Hopefully the moral of this story is pretty clear. Last week we talked about the importance of building a process. That's what the whole archery unit was about. But when the time comes to perform, you have to trust your process.

Too many times I see professionals throw the baby out with the bathwater because of fear, a lack of self-confidence, or some perceived conversational nuance.

Trust your communication process. Trust your ability to build rapport, set communication expectations, and trust the breakthrough language of your business.

If you haven't landed on a process that's providing you the results you want, I’m offering a free ‘Breakthrough Language’ Strategy Sessions to the first two business leaders who contact me and mention this blog.

Together, we can develop a breakthrough strategy for your business.

Thanks for reading! This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications: helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

Enjoyed the read? Every blog is available on my Youtube channel in video format along with other great content. Subscribe today!

Breakthrough Communicators: How to establish an instant connection

Hello,

Christopher Peck here with Speak Into Action Communications.

Today we learn 'How to Establish an Instant Connection.'

Breakthrough Communicators build immediate rapport in our personal and professional interactions. We are able to disarm self-defense mechanisms and speak directly to the child in charge.

We do this, first and foremost, by making eye contact. That's right, find the iris and hold that gaze.

Here's the kicker: it does not matter the format. Whether it is in person, on video, or over the phone, Breakthrough Communicators make eye contact.

So what does that look like?

In-Person: Make eye contact at least 70% of the time. This benefits both parties.

Ever heard the saying, "the shortest distance between two points is a straight line"?

The shortest distance between you and the child in charge is eye contact.

The energy of your intention and expectation flows directly to your intended target.

Furthermore, when you are making eye contact with your other, they are making eye contact with you. Which means they are more likely to hear and receive the information you are sharing, and you’re building greater know, like, and trust and stronger personal and professional relationships.

Now, on the occasion you are not making eye contact--the other 30%--establish a focus window extending from the top of your other's head to the top of their chest and from shoulder to shoulder. Your focus never leaves this window unless the conversation requires focus elsewhere.

On Video: Make eye contact, not with your other but with your video camera. This creates the illusion of eye contact and encourages the same direct flow of intention and expectation. Be relentless in your commitment to this focus. Whereas face-to-face communication allows for 30%, you need to always stay directly connected to your other on video. There are too many distractions which can easily be triggered in a moment of disconnect. Video is hard so be unwavering in your eye contact.

Over-the-Phone: Arguably the most difficult platform for developing immediate rapport. Guess what? Make eye contact. Visualize the other person, find the iris, and meet their gaze the entire conversation.

What this does is ensure your focus and commitment to the conversation. You cannot harness your other's attention, over-the-phone, the way you can on video and in-person. But you can influence their attention and connection by focusing your intention and expectation directly to them.

Do this by visualizing eye contact.

So here's what I want you to do over the next few days:

Add eye contact to your commitment to conversation, intention, expectation, and seeing the child in charge.

Take those five daily conversations, and unless you are currently committed to self-isolation, spread them between in-person, video, and phone conversations.

If you're great in person, but hate the phone, spend more time on the phone.

If you spend all day on Zoom calls, make time for in-person.

But practice, practice, practice finding the iris and making eye contact.

You may find resistance at first. Many people shy away from eye-contact as a way to protect their child in charge. As a show of good faith, let them see your child in charge. Vulnerability breeds vulnerability, authenticity breeds authenticity, and we build better relationships when we're vulnerable and authentic.

So make eye contact.

Thanks for reading everyone, remember to take these tips at your own pace. Take the time necessary to master your foundation of conversation, intention, expectation, and seeing the child in charge. Once that foundation is established, skills like eye contact will be easy to implement.

Breakthrough Communicators commit to a lifestyle. It doesn't happen overnight. As such, each of us will progress at our own pace. Just keep practicing.

As always like, comment, and share with your friends. This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications; helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

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Breakthrough Communicators: How to speak directly to the decision maker

Hello,

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

Today’s "Breakthrough Communicators" skill focuses on breaking through and talking to the real decision maker.

Over the last week we have committed to five conversations per day and applied intention and expectation to those conversations.

Today we see our relationships for who they really are.

Did you ever read Matilda by Roald Dahl? If not, here's a one-sentence summary: a young girl develops magical powers in response to the abuse, trauma and mistreatment she experiences at the hands of her family, peers, and a tyrannical headmistress.

It's a wonderful story which beautifully captures the self-defense mechanisms we create in response to the hurt, trauma, and abuse we experience in our early lives.

As human beings we have core needs which must be met. Love, security, community. And as children we take these core needs for granted. We assume, even expect, food, clothing, shelter, love, companionship, play.

Then something happens which disrupts the expectation of our basic needs. A meal is skipped. Betrayal by a friend. Physical abuse in the home. And out of our survivalist mindset comes that first layer of protection.

My friend betrayed me. I need to be wary of making new friends.

I missed a meal, I need to save some of my lunch just in case it happens again.

The class laughed at me when I answered a question wrong. Maybe I shouldn't answer any more questions.

Whether we were three years old, five, seven, that first moment when we could no longer assume our needs would be met paved the way for layer upon layer of personal shielding. Until ten, twenty, fifty years later we have magnificently wrapped our inner child in a suit of armor built for one purpose: to protect him or her from pain.

These suits of armor walk amongst one another attempting to converse with a decision maker they cannot see.

My favorite part of Matilda, spoiler alert, is when the kind, caring Miss Honey--the only character to show Matilda the love, security, and community she so desperately wanted to take for granted--adopts Matilda. And from that day forward, Matilda's powers are gone. The suit of armor is no longer necessary because her needs are met.

If it were only that easy.

But strong, meaningful personal relationships do break down the armor and allow us to be vulnerable and authentic.

Valuable business resources like life-changing products, consulting services, and coaching programs break down the armor and allow us to be vulnerable and authentic.

Before we break down that armor we have to see past the shielding to the child in charge it's meant to protect.

That's the decision-maker we must see and talk to if we ever expect to strengthen our personal and professional relationships.

So this is what I want you to do: in addition to committing to your five conversations with intention and expectation, I want you to see the child in charge. Look past the shielding, look past the armor and see the child who desperately wants to take for granted again love, security, and community in their life.

That's the foundation of Breakthrough Communication.

We commit to conversation.

We apply intention and expectation.

And most of all we see the child in charge.

Thanks for reading everyone, like, comment, share your experiences, and share with your friends. This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications; helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

Enjoyed the read?

Every blog is available on my Youtube channel in video format along with other great content. Subscribe today!

Breakthrough Communicators: How to turn small talk into big talk

Hello,

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

Today’s blog focuses on my third episode of "Breakthrough Communicators" where I show you how to turn "small talk" into "big talk."

Over the past week, you have committed to five conversations a day. Many of you have committed to more, hopefully no one to less. Although if you haven't made it to five, don't give up or be ashamed. Persevere. I promise, when you're committing to at least five conversations per day you will develop stronger communication skills.

Now, the conversations we've been having, whether five or fifty, have certainly ranged in importance. But, my guess is many fall in the "small talk" category.

I really enjoy small talk. It is a safe way to practice and develop certain communication skills.

However, we will never fully succeed as Breakthrough Communicators if "small talk" never matures into "big talk".

The difference between "small talk" and "big talk"?

Intention and expectation.

It is human nature to want things from other's. To have needs, desires, goals, and dreams. A big part of building healthy, secure relationships and loving communities is setting goals and relying on others to help us achieve them.

So I want you to start adding "intention" and "expectation" to your daily conversations.

Intention is our goals. It's what we want to accomplish.

“I want to commit to five conversations per day.”

“I want to talk to my grandmother three times this month.”

“I want to close twelve deals this quarter.”

“I want to spend thirty minutes a day listening to and sharing with my spouse or partner.”

“I want to make the cashier at the supermarket laugh.”

Each intention requires action on the part of us and our other. Notice I didn't say, "I want to call my grandmother...", I said “I want to talk to my grandmother.”

The first one's easy. I call three times, she never answers. I'm done. I could even strategically call when I know she's not around. Then I don't have to talk. But who does that benefit? If you're the only beneficiary, it's not a good intention.

Intention requires action by both parties.

Expectation is the why.

“I want to close twelve deals this quarter because then I get my closing bonus.”

“I want to talk and share with my spouse every day because we've been drifting apart and I miss our closeness.”

“I want to make the cashier at the supermarket laugh because I found out his dog died last week and he's been really down.”

In addition to being the why, expectations always assume success.

What's the point of setting a goal of twelve sales if we don't expect to achieve it?

This expectation raises the stakes of our goal-oriented conversations. It makes them more important.

“I have to succeed.”

“I have to get a hold of grandma three times.”

“It has to be twelve sales.”

“I have to put aside thirty minutes for my spouse every night.”

“I have to make him laugh.”

Intention and expectation turns "small talk" into "big talk".

That's what I want you to do this week. Take your five daily conversations; give them an intention and give them an expectation.

It's gonna be a little scary. Because "big talk" has big stakes. When we set intention and expectation, we create the possibility of failure.

Don't worry about it. Set goals and expect success in your conversations and interactions and I guarantee you're well on your way to being a Breakthrough Communicator.

Thanks for reading. Like, comment, and share your experience adding intention and expectation to your conversations; and don't keep this series to yourself. Who do you know would benefit from being a Breakthrough Communicator. Share this blog with them.

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications; helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

Enjoyed the read?

Every blog is available on my Youtube channel in video format along with other great content. Subscribe today!

Breakthrough Communicators: How to perfect your communication

Hello!

Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

Welcome back to, "Breakthrough Communicators" where I help you engage your community and build deeper, more secure personal and professional relationships.

Today we Make a Commitment to Conversation.

As a professional stage director, I have worked with some incredible theatre performers. Individuals who are fearless onstage, literally willing to try anything to capture the beauty and nuance of their character.

But the performers who stand out most to me are the ones who did the work outside of rehearsal. Those few, special people who were memorized before the rest of the cast and came to rehearsal with bold ideas.

Those actors always grew the most in rehearsal and were stand-outs in performance because they made a commitment to taking ownership of their work, not just for the few hours we rehearsed, but during every available second and opportunity.

That level of commitment makes a huge difference.

And it's what I ask of you today.

Breakthrough Communicators make a Commitment to Conversation.

They practice, prepare, rehearse everyday.

Not just in front of a mirror.

Not just by reading a book.

But by engaging real human beings in conversation every day.

According to a 2019 survey, the average Brit has 27 conversations per day.

Given this was pre-covid, and we're not all from Great Britain, there's likely some flexibility around that number. But I feel this leaves plenty of space for each and every one of us to prioritize committing to five conversations per day.

With a spouse.

Your child.

A coworker.

The supermarket cashier.

Your car-share driver.

I understand many of us are not interacting face-to-face with others during these unprecedented times. That cannot deter you from committing to five conversations per day.

Call your mom.

Your grandma.

Your buddy from college.

Video chat with a friend. Any friend.

The social skills which make us human, which fill our deep-seeded needs for love, security, and community, must be committed to every single day.

So fellow Breakthrough Communicators:

Commit to five conversations each day.

Make the commitment to be a Breakthrough Communicator. Start--or continue--your journey to better engaging your audiences and building deeper, more meaningful personal and professional relationships.

And share your experience. How does it feel to make this commitment? Did you have more than five conversations? Or was it challenging to find five? Did it make you anxious? Or was it liberating?

Share in the comments section, or contact me directly if you don't feel comfortable sharing publicly. My email address is chris.speakintoaction@gmail.com.

Thank you so much for reading. Like, comment, and definitely share with those in your community who would most benefit from being a Breakthrough Communicator.

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications; helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

Enjoyed the read?

Every blog is available on my Youtube channel in video format along with other great content. Subscribe today!