Get the Decision-Maker to Open Up and Share: Breakthrough Communicator Tip #7

Hello everyone,

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

Breakthrough Communicators determine who they work with, and who they bring into their personal and professional community by modeling the behavior they wish to receive. When we share our authentic, vulnerable child in charge, those individuals we want to surround ourselves with will accept that authentic self and share theirs in turn.

But then how do we get the Decision-Maker to open up and share even more?

Ask open-ended questions.

If you want your other to engage, ask questions which penetrate the protective shielding that is looking to dismiss and shut down trust-building opportunities.

Remember the child in charge has been hurt. The Decision-Maker is afraid to let down their guard and build deeper relationships because they've been injured before. Our protective armor is looking for a way to safeguard the child. 

And while "Yes" and "No" questions can be highly influential when used strategically, they're meaningless if you're not willing to take the time to build rapport through sincere, thought-provoking, open-ended questions.

By committing to questions which interest the child in charge, you invite the inner decision-maker to share their thoughts and feelings.

In this way you demonstrate the value and importance of your other's needs, emotions, and opinions.

People love talking about themselves, the same way they love hearing the sound of their own name. Open-ended questions provide space for our other to talk and share the love, community, and security they're desperately searching for.

So in your conversations this weekend prioritize open-ended questions. Ask questions which require more thought and engagement, not less.

"What" questions.

"Why" questions.

"How" questions.

These require more than one-word answers, are of great value in information gathering, encourage faster rapport and deeper relationships, and most importantly breakthrough our self-created armor and speak directly to the inner Decision-Maker.

Thanks for reading; like, share, and comment with your favorite open-ended questions for building deeper relationships.

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications--helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

Be A Breakthrough Communicator For Yourself

Hello everyone,

Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

Breakthrough Communicators elevate their interactions and build genuine rapport by utilizing strategies such as being clear and specific with our action-based intentions and expectations, committing to inquiry-based listening, and being gentle but firm when sharing our expertise, ideas, passions and goals.

But there is one more commitment I want you to make.

One more skill which ensures Breakthrough Communicators develop the loving, secure communities they desire.

That skill?

Take every Breakthrough Communicator strategy you have learned and apply it to yourself.

Commit to daily conversation and introspection with yourself.

Stay in tune with your inner decision maker. What does your child in charge really want?

Ask yourself thoughtful questions.

Listen to the answers.

Be gentle but firm with your own needs.

And don't nag yourself.

You are a remarkable human being. And you deserve to be seen and heard by the Breakthrough Communicator you're committed to being.

So make that guarantee to yourself.

Go back through and re-read or re-watch the 20 strategies for Breakthrough Communicators.

Then ask yourself, "Am I using these strategies on myself."

Am I listening to my needs?

Am I honest about my goals and intentions?

Am I building a deeper, more meaningful relationship with myself?

If yes, keep it up!

If no, start today.

You deserve to be seen and heard. Not just by others, but by yourself too.

Thanks for reading everyone; continue to follow my blog, subscribe to our email, and join me on YouTube for short reminders and exercises ensuring our regular commitment to Breakthrough Communicator strategies.

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications; helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

Don't Be A Nag: Breakthrough Communicator Tip #20

Hello everyone,

Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

Raise you hand if you enjoy being nagged.

No you don't, put your hand down.

No one likes to be nagged.

By a partner…

A parent…

That guy at work who wants to borrow your truck next week to move a couch…

No one likes to be nagged.

Which is why Breakthrough Communicators don't.

Harder than it seems.

But Breakthrough Communicators avoid nagging by understanding three crucial aspects of nagging:

1) It comes from a well-intentioned place. Your parent/partner/the guy from work needs something. And if the need is great enough to nag, it's probably pretty important. But nagging is so detrimental to our well-intentioned purposes because even if it best serves our other, the risk of shutting down the child in charge and triggering self-defense mechanisms makes it a really ineffective form of persuasion.

2) Nagging is negative attention and Breakthrough Communicators succeed in getting what they want by showing acceptance and using positive language. So we're not going to succumb to a communication tactic which undermines our tried and true process for succeeding in our intentions and developing deeper, more meaningful personal and professional relationships.

3) Nagging, for the most part, undermines all Breakthrough Communicators strategies. It is often a result of not listening, not asking open-ended questions, not being firm with your intentions, not creating collaboration and cooperation by offering options and alternatives, and not keeping it simple.

How many of us could easily get our friend at work to loan their truck with the promise of a tank of gas or a drink after work? Friday doesn't work, that's okay I'm off Saturday and Sunday too.

I know you're out of town next month, is there anyone watching your dog.

When we make our intentions about our other too, then nagging becomes unnecessary.

So don't nag. Instead, take the opportunity to commit to the awesome Breakthrough Communicator strategies which time and again help individuals accomplish their goals and build stronger relationships.

Thanks for reading everyone; as always, like, comment, and share with current and aspiring Breakthrough Communicators so together we can build stronger communities one effective communicator at a time.

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications; helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

Be Gentle, But Firm: Breakthrough Communicators' Tip #18

Hello everyone,

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

I remember when I defended my thesis during my final year of graduate school. I met with a handful faculty members all who watched my thesis directing project and read my written thesis.

Before entering the room, my graduate advisor looked at me and said, "Remember, you're the expert."

In the moment I definitely didn't feel like the expert. But in reality, no one in that room put in the time, energy, and effort on that particular production, and the research which informed my approach to it.

Breakthrough Communicators are experts. About themselves, their ideas, their work, their product and service offerings, and their wants, needs, and desires.

If I could go back in time and handle that room of faculty members differently, I would utilize this Breakthrough Communicator technique.

Be gentle, but firm.

As the expert there is space to be gentle using positive language, showing acceptance, and applying inquiry-based listening. But there's also room to be firm in the decisions, explanations, and influence we create based on our expertise.

You are an expert. So be gentle but firm in your encounters, interactions, and conversations with clients, colleagues, leaders, friends, and family.

Of course, be a collaborator willing to to listen to feedback and share options and alternatives.

But be a collaborator from your place of expertise. You know your ideas, products, services, and solutions better than anyone. So don't be hesitant or indecisive when sharing those ideas.

Practice being gentle but firm in your conversations this week. Listen to feedback, ask open-ended questions, but don't be afraid to be firm sharing your expertise with others.

Thanks for reading everyone; like, comment, and share with current and aspiring Breakthrough Communicators.

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications; helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

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Don't Sweat the Small Stuff: Breakthrough Communicators Tip #17

Hello everyone,

Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

Accomplishing our intentions and creating influence in our communities isn't easy.

There's years of fear, skepticism, and  insecurity, presenting as a protective shield we need to penetrate in order to speak to the child in charge and ultimately build deeper, more meaningful personal and professional relationships.

That's why Breakthrough Communicators don't sweat the small stuff. If we let every objection, rejection, and moment of resistance deter us from accomplishing our intentions, our ideas, needs, and desires would never be fulfilled.

Instead we let the expectation of success drive our intentions and look at moments of resistance as opportunities, not failures.

Take an objection, for example. You know your product or service is the answer to your other's problem. But they keep objecting.

So what's really happening here?

Something is triggering their protective shielding, which feels compelled to safeguard the child in charge.

This isn't failure, it's an opportunity. If your other is objecting, they haven't taken ownership which means it's time to reengage the child in charge by asking more questions and actively listening to their answers.

What does love, security, and community look like in their life? Through their answers you can slowly guide them to the understanding what you do, who you are, what you offer, is the answer to their wants and needs.

But we can't do that if the small stuff triggers us into over-explaination, getting frustrated, or giving up.

Because those are our self-defense mechanisms. And how can we expect to talk to the child in charge, if we're not vulnerable enough to share our own?

So practice not sweating the small stuff this week. Use objection, rejection, and resistance as an opportunity to ask more questions, be an active listener, and continue to be simple and specific about who you are and how you help.

Thanks for reading everyone; like, comment, and share with current and aspiring Breakthrough Communicators.

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications; helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

Enjoyed the read? Every blog is available on my Youtube channel in video format along with other great content. Subscribe today!