Keep the Decision-Maker Talking: Breakthrough Communicator Tip #8

Hello everyone,

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

When we ask open-ended questions, we create room for our other to share about their needs, desires, and feelings--one of our absolute favorite things to do.

It is an essential technique for building trust and rapport, information-gathering, and deepening our personal and professional relationships.

But it can easily be undone with one crippling mistake.

We see it time and time again.

And I'm willing to bet every single one of us has--myself included--committed this detrimental error.

Do...

Not...

Interrupt.

Do not interrupt.

Breakthrough Communicators create this awesome, necessary space for their connections to open up, be transparent, and be authentic.

Nothing shuts this earnest vulnerability down faster than interruption.

Think about the last time you were sharing a story, idea, dream and someone cut you off.

How did you feel?

Perturbed?

Disempowered?

Less than?

Ignored?

Did you feel anything but negativity and maybe a little shame?

Maybe your protective armor was even triggered to protect your child in charge.

Breakthrough Communicators stay connected with the real Decision-Maker by listening more and talking less.

Let them share.

Let them complete their thoughts.

Let them really answer questions.

And please, please, please don't assume--halfway through their thought--you know where it's going and don't have to listen anymore.

You will accomplish nothing through interruption except disengaging the child in charge.

So add this to your communication repertoire:

In addition to asking more open-ended questions, don't interrupt the answers.

Build more intimate, constructive relationships with prospective and current clients, friends, family, children, by encouraging them to keep talking.

Thank you for reading; as always like, comment, and share this blog with fellow Breakthrough Communicators. Let's build a world of richer, more satisfying relationships.

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications; helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

Enjoyed the read? Every blog is available on my Youtube channel in video format along with other great content. Subscribe today!

Hold Anyone's Attention: Breakthrough Communicators' Tip #6

Hello everyone,

Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

Breakthrough Communicators build instant rapport with real decision makers, or the child in charge, by focusing intention and expectation through direct eye contact. And to master these skills, they practice every day.

But how do Breakthrough Communicators grab and hold the attention of these decision-makers?

Use.

Their.

Name.

There is no faster, and more positive way to immediately secure the attention of another.

Imagine walking through a crowded park event--pre-pandemic of course--and someone shouts "Chris!" No less than twelve people will instinctively turn around because there's always at least a dozen Chris's around and because we are conditioned to respond to our name.

We like our name.

We like how it sounds.

We like when other people say our name.

And Breakthrough Communicators use names to build deeper, more secure personal and professional relationships.

You see, when you ask someone's name, you indicate they are important enough to build a deeper relationship with.

When you say someone's name, you immediately draw them into your conversation.

When you remember someone's name, you demonstrate they are an important member of your personal or professional community.

And believe me, the child in charge wants to be a part of a community.

So use their name.

If you don't know it, ask.

If they have a name tag. Take advantage of it.

If you're engaged in conversation, use their name multiple times. It encourages your other to maintain attention and reinforces their name in your memory so you can quickly refer to it in a conversation in the future.

Personalize relationships by using names.

Lower defense mechanisms by using names.

And give those names an upward inflection!

Make the name something exciting to say. People want you to say their name. They want to hear it spoken positively and enthusiastically.

And if you can use their name while making eye contact, finding that iris...

Well, this is what breakthrough communicators do.

Thank you for reading everyone, share in the comments section your favorite way to memorize names. I like to use a name no less than three times in a conversation to help it stick. What works for you?

As always like, comment, and share with those who would benefit most from being a Breakthrough Communicator.

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications; helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

Enjoyed the read? Every blog is available on my Youtube channel in video format along with other great content. Subscribe today!

What's Your Process/Trust Your Process: Part 2, Trust Your Process!

Hey everyone,

Christopher Peck here with Speak Into Action Communications.

Welcome to Part 2 of What's Your Process/Trust Your Process:

Trust Your Process!

When I was twelve, as part of my middle school physical education class, I took archery. I loved it. And I was pretty good too. Two year running, the archery team I was on--Bullseye, clever huh--came in first place in our school wide tournament.

But back to the archery class:

The final exam was a performance exam. We would fire three arrows, and the total score would determine our grade.

I could not sleep the night before. Despite my success in the class I was concerned I wasn't prepared for the final. So I stayed up most of the night going over and over in my mind the correct mechanics for successfully firing an arrow.

The exam came and I was terrified. My breath was rapid, my body was shaking, my confidence was gone, and after firing three arrows my final score was…

Seven.

I was going to get a “D” on my final exam.

I was embarrassed, near tears, and in my defeat discovered something remarkable.

The freedom of letting go.

Every student was given a second chance. Three more arrows. I knew I couldn't do worse than seven, so I gave up overthinking and just trusted my muscle memory.

Arrow one: Bullseye

Arrow two: Bullseye

Arrow three: Almost bullseye

Twenty-five points. An "A."

Hopefully the moral of this story is pretty clear. Last week we talked about the importance of building a process. That's what the whole archery unit was about. But when the time comes to perform, you have to trust your process.

Too many times I see professionals throw the baby out with the bathwater because of fear, a lack of self-confidence, or some perceived conversational nuance.

Trust your communication process. Trust your ability to build rapport, set communication expectations, and trust the breakthrough language of your business.

If you haven't landed on a process that's providing you the results you want, I’m offering a free ‘Breakthrough Language’ Strategy Sessions to the first two business leaders who contact me and mention this blog.

Together, we can develop a breakthrough strategy for your business.

Thanks for reading! This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications: helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

Enjoyed the read? Every blog is available on my Youtube channel in video format along with other great content. Subscribe today!

Breakthrough Communicators: How to establish an instant connection

Hello,

Christopher Peck here with Speak Into Action Communications.

Today we learn 'How to Establish an Instant Connection.'

Breakthrough Communicators build immediate rapport in our personal and professional interactions. We are able to disarm self-defense mechanisms and speak directly to the child in charge.

We do this, first and foremost, by making eye contact. That's right, find the iris and hold that gaze.

Here's the kicker: it does not matter the format. Whether it is in person, on video, or over the phone, Breakthrough Communicators make eye contact.

So what does that look like?

In-Person: Make eye contact at least 70% of the time. This benefits both parties.

Ever heard the saying, "the shortest distance between two points is a straight line"?

The shortest distance between you and the child in charge is eye contact.

The energy of your intention and expectation flows directly to your intended target.

Furthermore, when you are making eye contact with your other, they are making eye contact with you. Which means they are more likely to hear and receive the information you are sharing, and you’re building greater know, like, and trust and stronger personal and professional relationships.

Now, on the occasion you are not making eye contact--the other 30%--establish a focus window extending from the top of your other's head to the top of their chest and from shoulder to shoulder. Your focus never leaves this window unless the conversation requires focus elsewhere.

On Video: Make eye contact, not with your other but with your video camera. This creates the illusion of eye contact and encourages the same direct flow of intention and expectation. Be relentless in your commitment to this focus. Whereas face-to-face communication allows for 30%, you need to always stay directly connected to your other on video. There are too many distractions which can easily be triggered in a moment of disconnect. Video is hard so be unwavering in your eye contact.

Over-the-Phone: Arguably the most difficult platform for developing immediate rapport. Guess what? Make eye contact. Visualize the other person, find the iris, and meet their gaze the entire conversation.

What this does is ensure your focus and commitment to the conversation. You cannot harness your other's attention, over-the-phone, the way you can on video and in-person. But you can influence their attention and connection by focusing your intention and expectation directly to them.

Do this by visualizing eye contact.

So here's what I want you to do over the next few days:

Add eye contact to your commitment to conversation, intention, expectation, and seeing the child in charge.

Take those five daily conversations, and unless you are currently committed to self-isolation, spread them between in-person, video, and phone conversations.

If you're great in person, but hate the phone, spend more time on the phone.

If you spend all day on Zoom calls, make time for in-person.

But practice, practice, practice finding the iris and making eye contact.

You may find resistance at first. Many people shy away from eye-contact as a way to protect their child in charge. As a show of good faith, let them see your child in charge. Vulnerability breeds vulnerability, authenticity breeds authenticity, and we build better relationships when we're vulnerable and authentic.

So make eye contact.

Thanks for reading everyone, remember to take these tips at your own pace. Take the time necessary to master your foundation of conversation, intention, expectation, and seeing the child in charge. Once that foundation is established, skills like eye contact will be easy to implement.

Breakthrough Communicators commit to a lifestyle. It doesn't happen overnight. As such, each of us will progress at our own pace. Just keep practicing.

As always like, comment, and share with your friends. This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications; helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

Enjoyed the read?

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Breakthrough Communicators: How to speak directly to the decision maker

Hello,

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

Today’s "Breakthrough Communicators" skill focuses on breaking through and talking to the real decision maker.

Over the last week we have committed to five conversations per day and applied intention and expectation to those conversations.

Today we see our relationships for who they really are.

Did you ever read Matilda by Roald Dahl? If not, here's a one-sentence summary: a young girl develops magical powers in response to the abuse, trauma and mistreatment she experiences at the hands of her family, peers, and a tyrannical headmistress.

It's a wonderful story which beautifully captures the self-defense mechanisms we create in response to the hurt, trauma, and abuse we experience in our early lives.

As human beings we have core needs which must be met. Love, security, community. And as children we take these core needs for granted. We assume, even expect, food, clothing, shelter, love, companionship, play.

Then something happens which disrupts the expectation of our basic needs. A meal is skipped. Betrayal by a friend. Physical abuse in the home. And out of our survivalist mindset comes that first layer of protection.

My friend betrayed me. I need to be wary of making new friends.

I missed a meal, I need to save some of my lunch just in case it happens again.

The class laughed at me when I answered a question wrong. Maybe I shouldn't answer any more questions.

Whether we were three years old, five, seven, that first moment when we could no longer assume our needs would be met paved the way for layer upon layer of personal shielding. Until ten, twenty, fifty years later we have magnificently wrapped our inner child in a suit of armor built for one purpose: to protect him or her from pain.

These suits of armor walk amongst one another attempting to converse with a decision maker they cannot see.

My favorite part of Matilda, spoiler alert, is when the kind, caring Miss Honey--the only character to show Matilda the love, security, and community she so desperately wanted to take for granted--adopts Matilda. And from that day forward, Matilda's powers are gone. The suit of armor is no longer necessary because her needs are met.

If it were only that easy.

But strong, meaningful personal relationships do break down the armor and allow us to be vulnerable and authentic.

Valuable business resources like life-changing products, consulting services, and coaching programs break down the armor and allow us to be vulnerable and authentic.

Before we break down that armor we have to see past the shielding to the child in charge it's meant to protect.

That's the decision-maker we must see and talk to if we ever expect to strengthen our personal and professional relationships.

So this is what I want you to do: in addition to committing to your five conversations with intention and expectation, I want you to see the child in charge. Look past the shielding, look past the armor and see the child who desperately wants to take for granted again love, security, and community in their life.

That's the foundation of Breakthrough Communication.

We commit to conversation.

We apply intention and expectation.

And most of all we see the child in charge.

Thanks for reading everyone, like, comment, share your experiences, and share with your friends. This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications; helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

Enjoyed the read?

Every blog is available on my Youtube channel in video format along with other great content. Subscribe today!