Be A Breakthrough Communicator For Yourself

Hello everyone,

Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

Breakthrough Communicators elevate their interactions and build genuine rapport by utilizing strategies such as being clear and specific with our action-based intentions and expectations, committing to inquiry-based listening, and being gentle but firm when sharing our expertise, ideas, passions and goals.

But there is one more commitment I want you to make.

One more skill which ensures Breakthrough Communicators develop the loving, secure communities they desire.

That skill?

Take every Breakthrough Communicator strategy you have learned and apply it to yourself.

Commit to daily conversation and introspection with yourself.

Stay in tune with your inner decision maker. What does your child in charge really want?

Ask yourself thoughtful questions.

Listen to the answers.

Be gentle but firm with your own needs.

And don't nag yourself.

You are a remarkable human being. And you deserve to be seen and heard by the Breakthrough Communicator you're committed to being.

So make that guarantee to yourself.

Go back through and re-read or re-watch the 20 strategies for Breakthrough Communicators.

Then ask yourself, "Am I using these strategies on myself."

Am I listening to my needs?

Am I honest about my goals and intentions?

Am I building a deeper, more meaningful relationship with myself?

If yes, keep it up!

If no, start today.

You deserve to be seen and heard. Not just by others, but by yourself too.

Thanks for reading everyone; continue to follow my blog, subscribe to our email, and join me on YouTube for short reminders and exercises ensuring our regular commitment to Breakthrough Communicator strategies.

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications; helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

Don't Be A Nag: Breakthrough Communicator Tip #20

Hello everyone,

Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

Raise you hand if you enjoy being nagged.

No you don't, put your hand down.

No one likes to be nagged.

By a partner…

A parent…

That guy at work who wants to borrow your truck next week to move a couch…

No one likes to be nagged.

Which is why Breakthrough Communicators don't.

Harder than it seems.

But Breakthrough Communicators avoid nagging by understanding three crucial aspects of nagging:

1) It comes from a well-intentioned place. Your parent/partner/the guy from work needs something. And if the need is great enough to nag, it's probably pretty important. But nagging is so detrimental to our well-intentioned purposes because even if it best serves our other, the risk of shutting down the child in charge and triggering self-defense mechanisms makes it a really ineffective form of persuasion.

2) Nagging is negative attention and Breakthrough Communicators succeed in getting what they want by showing acceptance and using positive language. So we're not going to succumb to a communication tactic which undermines our tried and true process for succeeding in our intentions and developing deeper, more meaningful personal and professional relationships.

3) Nagging, for the most part, undermines all Breakthrough Communicators strategies. It is often a result of not listening, not asking open-ended questions, not being firm with your intentions, not creating collaboration and cooperation by offering options and alternatives, and not keeping it simple.

How many of us could easily get our friend at work to loan their truck with the promise of a tank of gas or a drink after work? Friday doesn't work, that's okay I'm off Saturday and Sunday too.

I know you're out of town next month, is there anyone watching your dog.

When we make our intentions about our other too, then nagging becomes unnecessary.

So don't nag. Instead, take the opportunity to commit to the awesome Breakthrough Communicator strategies which time and again help individuals accomplish their goals and build stronger relationships.

Thanks for reading everyone; as always, like, comment, and share with current and aspiring Breakthrough Communicators so together we can build stronger communities one effective communicator at a time.

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications; helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

Keep the Decision-Maker Talking: Breakthrough Communicator Tip #8

Hello everyone,

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

When we ask open-ended questions, we create room for our other to share about their needs, desires, and feelings--one of our absolute favorite things to do.

It is an essential technique for building trust and rapport, information-gathering, and deepening our personal and professional relationships.

But it can easily be undone with one crippling mistake.

We see it time and time again.

And I'm willing to bet every single one of us has--myself included--committed this detrimental error.

Do...

Not...

Interrupt.

Do not interrupt.

Breakthrough Communicators create this awesome, necessary space for their connections to open up, be transparent, and be authentic.

Nothing shuts this earnest vulnerability down faster than interruption.

Think about the last time you were sharing a story, idea, dream and someone cut you off.

How did you feel?

Perturbed?

Disempowered?

Less than?

Ignored?

Did you feel anything but negativity and maybe a little shame?

Maybe your protective armor was even triggered to protect your child in charge.

Breakthrough Communicators stay connected with the real Decision-Maker by listening more and talking less.

Let them share.

Let them complete their thoughts.

Let them really answer questions.

And please, please, please don't assume--halfway through their thought--you know where it's going and don't have to listen anymore.

You will accomplish nothing through interruption except disengaging the child in charge.

So add this to your communication repertoire:

In addition to asking more open-ended questions, don't interrupt the answers.

Build more intimate, constructive relationships with prospective and current clients, friends, family, children, by encouraging them to keep talking.

Thank you for reading; as always like, comment, and share this blog with fellow Breakthrough Communicators. Let's build a world of richer, more satisfying relationships.

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications; helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

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Breakthrough Communicators: How to speak directly to the decision maker

Hello,

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

Today’s "Breakthrough Communicators" skill focuses on breaking through and talking to the real decision maker.

Over the last week we have committed to five conversations per day and applied intention and expectation to those conversations.

Today we see our relationships for who they really are.

Did you ever read Matilda by Roald Dahl? If not, here's a one-sentence summary: a young girl develops magical powers in response to the abuse, trauma and mistreatment she experiences at the hands of her family, peers, and a tyrannical headmistress.

It's a wonderful story which beautifully captures the self-defense mechanisms we create in response to the hurt, trauma, and abuse we experience in our early lives.

As human beings we have core needs which must be met. Love, security, community. And as children we take these core needs for granted. We assume, even expect, food, clothing, shelter, love, companionship, play.

Then something happens which disrupts the expectation of our basic needs. A meal is skipped. Betrayal by a friend. Physical abuse in the home. And out of our survivalist mindset comes that first layer of protection.

My friend betrayed me. I need to be wary of making new friends.

I missed a meal, I need to save some of my lunch just in case it happens again.

The class laughed at me when I answered a question wrong. Maybe I shouldn't answer any more questions.

Whether we were three years old, five, seven, that first moment when we could no longer assume our needs would be met paved the way for layer upon layer of personal shielding. Until ten, twenty, fifty years later we have magnificently wrapped our inner child in a suit of armor built for one purpose: to protect him or her from pain.

These suits of armor walk amongst one another attempting to converse with a decision maker they cannot see.

My favorite part of Matilda, spoiler alert, is when the kind, caring Miss Honey--the only character to show Matilda the love, security, and community she so desperately wanted to take for granted--adopts Matilda. And from that day forward, Matilda's powers are gone. The suit of armor is no longer necessary because her needs are met.

If it were only that easy.

But strong, meaningful personal relationships do break down the armor and allow us to be vulnerable and authentic.

Valuable business resources like life-changing products, consulting services, and coaching programs break down the armor and allow us to be vulnerable and authentic.

Before we break down that armor we have to see past the shielding to the child in charge it's meant to protect.

That's the decision-maker we must see and talk to if we ever expect to strengthen our personal and professional relationships.

So this is what I want you to do: in addition to committing to your five conversations with intention and expectation, I want you to see the child in charge. Look past the shielding, look past the armor and see the child who desperately wants to take for granted again love, security, and community in their life.

That's the foundation of Breakthrough Communication.

We commit to conversation.

We apply intention and expectation.

And most of all we see the child in charge.

Thanks for reading everyone, like, comment, share your experiences, and share with your friends. This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications; helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

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Persuading Crowds Part 4: A Crowd of Many

Hello everyone!

Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

Welcome to the final portion of our four-week series on Crowd Persuasion inspired by T.S. Eliot's quote.

Do we all know it by heart?

"Business today consists in persuading crowds."

Part two covered a crowd of self, last week we went over a crowd of one, today we talk about persuading a crowd of many. And, you guessed it, persuading a crowd of many is about being present, transparent, and consistent.

Being Present: Looks different because with a crowd of one you want your audience to dominate the conversation. Talk less, listen more. With a crowd of many, this really isn't feasible unless you have two hours of material and eight hours of time. Conversation slows the tempo and pacing of a presentation which is why it is so important, when developing a speaking event, to plan out the timing of audience participation.

But before I get too wildly off topic, since one to many presentations almost always necessitate a speaker-driven performance, being present has to look a little different.

It becomes about non-verbal engagement, and mirroring. And not with your entire audience, you do not have to connect with your entire audience. In fact, you will not connect with your entire audience. And I think biggest mistake many presenters make is focusing on the wrong audience.

Believe it or not, like most things, there's an 80/20 rule for audiences. 80% of your audience is engaged, absorbed, and eager to hear what you have to say. 20% are somewhere else. Not feeling well. Checking an email from their kid's school. Skipped breakfast and starving. Whatever the reason, they're not there. Oh well.

What we cannot do as presenters is pivot for or try to force a connection with the 20%. They're a lost cause. Let them go. Instead focus on the 80%. Mirror their energy and enthusiasm back on them. Reward their excitement by giving them special attention. That's the audience you're persuading. Don't miss your shot in the vain attempt to please everyone.

Be Transparent: Suit the action to the word, the word to the action. Being a great performer is about finding alignment between words, actions, body language, and vocal variety. This is why we rehearse. To find and hone that alignment so when we walk into a presentation we are both masterly prepared, while also portraying the illusion of spontaneity.

Be Consistent: Script it. You can wing it but it won't be as good. When people tell me they're good enough to just wing it, all I hear is, "I don't take this presentation seriously enough to prepare."

Script it.

Rehearse it.

Memorize it.

Own it.

Then you have it forever.

Thank you for following this series the last few weeks. As promised, I have a challenge for you. Create a sixty-second video of yourself and put it on LinkedIn, Youtube, Facebook, or any other social media vessel of choice. It can be an ask, a get to know you, a quick video about a book we all need to read, but post it and put yourself out there.

The first five people who post their video and share with me a link to view, I'll send you feedback on what works really well about your video presence along with a couple of quick tips to make your videos even better.

Thanks everyone for reading, this is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications: helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

Enjoyed the read?

Every blog is available on my Youtube channel in video format along with other great content. Subscribe today!