Breakthrough Communicators: How to speak directly to the decision maker

Today we see our relationships for who they really are.

Did you ever read Matilda by Roald Dahl? If not, here's a one-sentence summary: a young girl develops magical powers in response to the abuse, trauma and mistreatment she experiences at the hands of her family, peers, and a tyrannical headmistress.

It's a wonderful story which beautifully captures the self-defense mechanisms we create in response to the hurt, trauma, and abuse we experience in our early lives.

As human beings we have core needs which must be met. Love, security, community. And as children we take these core needs for granted. We assume, even expect, food, clothing, shelter, love, companionship, play.

Then something happens which disrupts the expectation of our basic needs. A meal is skipped. Betrayal by a friend. Physical abuse in the home. And out of our survivalist mindset comes that first layer of protection.

Hello,

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

Today’s "Breakthrough Communicators" skill focuses on breaking through and talking to the real decision maker.

Over the last week we have committed to five conversations per day and applied intention and expectation to those conversations.

Today we see our relationships for who they really are.

Did you ever read Matilda by Roald Dahl? If not, here's a one-sentence summary: a young girl develops magical powers in response to the abuse, trauma and mistreatment she experiences at the hands of her family, peers, and a tyrannical headmistress.

It's a wonderful story which beautifully captures the self-defense mechanisms we create in response to the hurt, trauma, and abuse we experience in our early lives.

As human beings we have core needs which must be met. Love, security, community. And as children we take these core needs for granted. We assume, even expect, food, clothing, shelter, love, companionship, play.

Then something happens which disrupts the expectation of our basic needs. A meal is skipped. Betrayal by a friend. Physical abuse in the home. And out of our survivalist mindset comes that first layer of protection.

My friend betrayed me. I need to be wary of making new friends.

I missed a meal, I need to save some of my lunch just in case it happens again.

The class laughed at me when I answered a question wrong. Maybe I shouldn't answer any more questions.

Whether we were three years old, five, seven, that first moment when we could no longer assume our needs would be met paved the way for layer upon layer of personal shielding. Until ten, twenty, fifty years later we have magnificently wrapped our inner child in a suit of armor built for one purpose: to protect him or her from pain.

These suits of armor walk amongst one another attempting to converse with a decision maker they cannot see.

My favorite part of Matilda, spoiler alert, is when the kind, caring Miss Honey--the only character to show Matilda the love, security, and community she so desperately wanted to take for granted--adopts Matilda. And from that day forward, Matilda's powers are gone. The suit of armor is no longer necessary because her needs are met.

If it were only that easy.

But strong, meaningful personal relationships do break down the armor and allow us to be vulnerable and authentic.

Valuable business resources like life-changing products, consulting services, and coaching programs break down the armor and allow us to be vulnerable and authentic.

Before we break down that armor we have to see past the shielding to the child in charge it's meant to protect.

That's the decision-maker we must see and talk to if we ever expect to strengthen our personal and professional relationships.

So this is what I want you to do: in addition to committing to your five conversations with intention and expectation, I want you to see the child in charge. Look past the shielding, look past the armor and see the child who desperately wants to take for granted again love, security, and community in their life.

That's the foundation of Breakthrough Communication.

We commit to conversation.

We apply intention and expectation.

And most of all we see the child in charge.

Thanks for reading everyone, like, comment, share your experiences, and share with your friends. This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications; helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

Enjoyed the read?

Every blog is available on my Youtube channel in video format along with other great content. Subscribe today!

Read More

Breakthrough Communicators: How to turn small talk into big talk

I really enjoy small talk. It is a safe way to practice and develop certain communication skills.

However, we will never fully succeed as Breakthrough Communicators if "small talk" never matures into "big talk".

The difference between "small talk" and "big talk"?

Intention and expectation.

It is human nature to want things from other's. To have needs, desires, goals, and dreams. A big part of building healthy, secure relationships and loving communities is setting goals and relying on others to help us achieve them.

So I want you to start adding "intention" and "expectation" to your daily conversations.

Hello,

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

Today’s blog focuses on my third episode of "Breakthrough Communicators" where I show you how to turn "small talk" into "big talk."

Over the past week, you have committed to five conversations a day. Many of you have committed to more, hopefully no one to less. Although if you haven't made it to five, don't give up or be ashamed. Persevere. I promise, when you're committing to at least five conversations per day you will develop stronger communication skills.

Now, the conversations we've been having, whether five or fifty, have certainly ranged in importance. But, my guess is many fall in the "small talk" category.

I really enjoy small talk. It is a safe way to practice and develop certain communication skills.

However, we will never fully succeed as Breakthrough Communicators if "small talk" never matures into "big talk".

The difference between "small talk" and "big talk"?

Intention and expectation.

It is human nature to want things from other's. To have needs, desires, goals, and dreams. A big part of building healthy, secure relationships and loving communities is setting goals and relying on others to help us achieve them.

So I want you to start adding "intention" and "expectation" to your daily conversations.

Intention is our goals. It's what we want to accomplish.

“I want to commit to five conversations per day.”

“I want to talk to my grandmother three times this month.”

“I want to close twelve deals this quarter.”

“I want to spend thirty minutes a day listening to and sharing with my spouse or partner.”

“I want to make the cashier at the supermarket laugh.”

Each intention requires action on the part of us and our other. Notice I didn't say, "I want to call my grandmother...", I said “I want to talk to my grandmother.”

The first one's easy. I call three times, she never answers. I'm done. I could even strategically call when I know she's not around. Then I don't have to talk. But who does that benefit? If you're the only beneficiary, it's not a good intention.

Intention requires action by both parties.

Expectation is the why.

“I want to close twelve deals this quarter because then I get my closing bonus.”

“I want to talk and share with my spouse every day because we've been drifting apart and I miss our closeness.

“I want to make the cashier at the supermarket laugh because I found out his dog died last week and he's been really down.

In addition to being the why, expectations always assume success.

What's the point of setting a goal of twelve sales if we don't expect to achieve it?

This expectation raises the stakes of our goal-oriented conversations. It makes them more important.

“I have to succeed.”

“I have to get a hold of grandma three times.”

“It has to be twelve sales.”

“I have to put aside thirty minutes for my spouse every night.”

“I have to make him laugh.”

Intention and expectation turns "small talk" into "big talk".

That's what I want you to do this week. Take your five daily conversations; give them an intention and give them an expectation.

It's gonna be a little scary. Because "big talk" has big stakes. When we set intention and expectation, we create the possibility of failure.

Don't worry about it. Set goals and expect success in your conversations and interactions and I guarantee you're well on your way to being a Breakthrough Communicator.

Thanks for reading. Like, comment, and share your experience adding intention and expectation to your conversations; and don't keep this series to yourself. Who do you know would benefit from being a Breakthrough Communicator. Share this blog with them.

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications; helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

Enjoyed the read?

Every blog is available on my Youtube channel in video format along with other great content. Subscribe today!

Read More

Breakthrough Communicators: How to perfect your communication

But the performers who stand out most to me are the ones who did the work outside of rehearsal. Those few, special people who were memorized before the rest of the cast and came to rehearsal with bold ideas.

Those actors always grew the most in rehearsal and were stand-outs in performance because they made a commitment to taking ownership of their work, not just for the few hours we rehearsed, but during every available second and opportunity.

That level of commitment makes a huge difference.

And it's what I ask of you today.

Breakthrough Communicators make a Commitment to Conversation.

They practice, prepare, rehearse everyday.

Not just in front of a mirror.

Not just by reading a book.

But by engaging real human beings in conversation every day.

Hello!

Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

Welcome back to, "Breakthrough Communicators" where I help you engage your community and build deeper, more secure personal and professional relationships.

Today we Make a Commitment to Conversation.

As a professional stage director, I have worked with some incredible theatre performers. Individuals who are fearless onstage, literally willing to try anything to capture the beauty and nuance of their character.

But the performers who stand out most to me are the ones who did the work outside of rehearsal. Those few, special people who were memorized before the rest of the cast and came to rehearsal with bold ideas.

Those actors always grew the most in rehearsal and were stand-outs in performance because they made a commitment to taking ownership of their work, not just for the few hours we rehearsed, but during every available second and opportunity.

That level of commitment makes a huge difference.

And it's what I ask of you today.

Breakthrough Communicators make a Commitment to Conversation.

They practice, prepare, rehearse everyday.

Not just in front of a mirror.

Not just by reading a book.

But by engaging real human beings in conversation every day.

According to a 2019 survey, the average Brit has 27 conversations per day.

Given this was pre-covid, and we're not all from Great Britain, there's likely some flexibility around that number. But I feel this leaves plenty of space for each and every one of us to prioritize committing to five conversations per day.

With a spouse.

Your child.

A coworker.

The supermarket cashier.

Your car-share driver.

I understand many of us are not interacting face-to-face with others during these unprecedented times. That cannot deter you from committing to five conversations per day.

Call your mom.

Your grandma.

Your buddy from college.

Video chat with a friend. Any friend.

The social skills which make us human, which fill our deep-seeded needs for love, security, and community, must be committed to every single day.

So fellow Breakthrough Communicators:

Commit to five conversations each day.

Make the commitment to be a Breakthrough Communicator. Start--or continue--your journey to better engaging your audiences and building deeper, more meaningful personal and professional relationships.

And share your experience. How does it feel to make this commitment? Did you have more than five conversations? Or was it challenging to find five? Did it make you anxious? Or was it liberating?

Share in the comments section, or contact me directly if you don't feel comfortable sharing publicly. My email address is chris.speakintoaction@gmail.com.

Thank you so much for reading. Like, comment, and definitely share with those in your community who would most benefit from being a Breakthrough Communicator.

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications; helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

Enjoyed the read?

Every blog is available on my Youtube channel in video format along with other great content. Subscribe today!

Read More

Breakthrough Communicators: How to be a Breakthrough Communicator

So many of us side-step the opportunity to really hone in on our communication skills--to be influential connectors capable of building strong, lasting personal and professional relationships.

Why?

When I first moved to Denver I drove for Uber as a way to make additional income. I met all sorts of unique individuals. One person, in particular, stands out--a passenger who upon discovering I was a Public Speaking Coach said, "I feel like public speaking is something you're born with. You either have it or you don't."

You either have it or you don't...

Hmmm...

Hi there,

Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

Do you wish you were a better communicator?

Think about the question:

At work.

Delivering presentations.

Public speaking.

With clients.

With your spouse...

Your parents...

Your kids.

Yet so many of us side-step the opportunity to really hone in on our communication skills--to be influential connectors capable of building strong, lasting personal and professional relationships.

Why?

When I first moved to Denver I drove for Uber as a way to make additional income. I met all sorts of unique individuals. One person, in particular, stands out--a passenger who upon discovering I was a Public Speaking Coach said, "I feel like public speaking is something you're born with. You either have it or you don't."

You either have it or you don't...

Hmmm...

I see where he's coming from. It's certainly supported to an extent in child psychology. Children, through play and interaction naturally develop social and communication skills.

Some will stand out as confident leaders. Others outcasts. Most make up the middle.

But is it really nature?

With an underwhelming communication curriculum in our educational system, outside of these organic social interactions kids don't really have the opportunity to move up the ladder in their communication development.

So when we graduate from high school, college, graduate school, the same kids who stood out as confident communicators at age six are the ones who continue to stand out.

The rest of us?

I guess we just weren't born with it...

As a shy, bullied kid growing up, I could have easily accepted I just don't have it. But a deep-seeded desire to be able to express myself confidently led me to theatre.

Theatre led me to Public Speaking.

Public speaking led me to communication as a holistic skill we can learn, improve, or decline--as we've seen during isolation and the pandemic--at any point in our lives.

I'm in the business of helping people improve. To feel confident and capable sharing their creative business ideas boldly, engaging their community passionately, and building strong, secure relationships with family, friends, and loved ones.

That's why I created the series, "Breakthrough Communicators." These are the twenty most important things Breakthrough Communicators do differently to engage their audience.

Every episode is posted on my Youtube page, but over the next four weeks I’ll share the first four tips with you on my blog.

Each post ends with an exercise I want you to do as part of your commitment to being a Breakthrough Communicator.

So, do you wish you were a better communicator?

If the answer is "yes", here's your chance to advance those skills and bring more influence, compassion, and security to your personal and professional relationships.

And here's my ask: there is at least one person in your life you know would benefit from stronger communication skills. Share this blog with that one person.

Thank you for reading. This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications--helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

Enjoyed the read?

Every blog is available on my Youtube channel in video format along with other great content. Subscribe today!

Read More

We Need a Communication Revolution

Empathy, information, thoughtfulness, and active-listening are absolutely necessary skills before launching into our own opinion. And if this common saying was, "Practice empathy, information-gathering, thoughtfulness, and active-listening before launching into your own opinion," I would be talking about something else right now.

But that's not what this quote says. This statement implies we have two choices: remain silent, and because we never share any ideas, be perceived as stupid...

Or share our ideas which are stupid.

Hey everyone, Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

There's a common phrase of unknown origin which has circulated in some form or another for hundreds--if not longer--of years,

"It is better to remain silent and have people think you're stupid than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

Empathy, information, thoughtfulness, and active-listening are absolutely necessary skills before launching into our own opinions. And if this common saying was, "Practice empathy, information-gathering, thoughtfulness, and active-listening before launching into your own opinion," I would be talking about something else right now.

But that's not what this quote says. This statement implies we have two choices: remain silent, and because we never share any ideas, be perceived as stupid...

Or share our ideas which are stupid.

Regardless, we are stupid.

Sadly, most of us have been on the giving or receiving (or more likely both) ends of this statement.

So it's not hard to see why public speaking continues to be one of the biggest fears in this country; why people think it's a skill you're either born with or not; why some think communication skills are a luxury, not a necessity, for their personal and professional growth; and why others protect themselves by sharing their ideas behind pseudonyms.

Because you're stupid anyway, right?

And it's better to not communicate your ideas and just be perceived as stupid then to share your stupid ideas and confirm the truth.

This is no way to live.

Friends, we need a communication revolution.

I'm proud to be connected with so many bright, talented professionals who have important, creative ideas to share.

And I'm here to tell you it's not better to keep those incredible ideas to yourself.

It's not better to cultivate environments where ideas are thought of as stupid.

It's not better to lead through condescension, ridicule, and fear.

It is better to shout our freaking amazing ideas from the rooftops so others can benefit and maybe, just maybe, be influenced to share amazing ideas of their own.

So what are your big ideas?

Are you sharing them boldly? Unapologetically?

Or do you think they're too stupid to share?

Your ideas aren't stupid.

You're not stupid.

Just keep creating.

Thanks for reading, if you're already sharing your big ideas on YouTube, LinkedIn, Facebook or anywhere else, post the link in the comments section. Your ideas are inspiring and I want to see more.

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications--helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

Enjoyed the read?

Every blog is available on my Youtube channel in video format along with other great content. Subscribe today!

Read More