Don't Be A Nag: Breakthrough Communicator Tip #20

Hello everyone,

Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

Raise you hand if you enjoy being nagged.

No you don't, put your hand down.

No one likes to be nagged.

By a partner…

A parent…

That guy at work who wants to borrow your truck next week to move a couch…

No one likes to be nagged.

Which is why Breakthrough Communicators don't.

Harder than it seems.

But Breakthrough Communicators avoid nagging by understanding three crucial aspects of nagging:

1) It comes from a well-intentioned place. Your parent/partner/the guy from work needs something. And if the need is great enough to nag, it's probably pretty important. But nagging is so detrimental to our well-intentioned purposes because even if it best serves our other, the risk of shutting down the child in charge and triggering self-defense mechanisms makes it a really ineffective form of persuasion.

2) Nagging is negative attention and Breakthrough Communicators succeed in getting what they want by showing acceptance and using positive language. So we're not going to succumb to a communication tactic which undermines our tried and true process for succeeding in our intentions and developing deeper, more meaningful personal and professional relationships.

3) Nagging, for the most part, undermines all Breakthrough Communicators strategies. It is often a result of not listening, not asking open-ended questions, not being firm with your intentions, not creating collaboration and cooperation by offering options and alternatives, and not keeping it simple.

How many of us could easily get our friend at work to loan their truck with the promise of a tank of gas or a drink after work? Friday doesn't work, that's okay I'm off Saturday and Sunday too.

I know you're out of town next month, is there anyone watching your dog.

When we make our intentions about our other too, then nagging becomes unnecessary.

So don't nag. Instead, take the opportunity to commit to the awesome Breakthrough Communicator strategies which time and again help individuals accomplish their goals and build stronger relationships.

Thanks for reading everyone; as always, like, comment, and share with current and aspiring Breakthrough Communicators so together we can build stronger communities one effective communicator at a time.

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications; helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

Be Gentle, But Firm: Breakthrough Communicators' Tip #18

Hello everyone,

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

I remember when I defended my thesis during my final year of graduate school. I met with a handful faculty members all who watched my thesis directing project and read my written thesis.

Before entering the room, my graduate advisor looked at me and said, "Remember, you're the expert."

In the moment I definitely didn't feel like the expert. But in reality, no one in that room put in the time, energy, and effort on that particular production, and the research which informed my approach to it.

Breakthrough Communicators are experts. About themselves, their ideas, their work, their product and service offerings, and their wants, needs, and desires.

If I could go back in time and handle that room of faculty members differently, I would utilize this Breakthrough Communicator technique.

Be gentle, but firm.

As the expert there is space to be gentle using positive language, showing acceptance, and applying inquiry-based listening. But there's also room to be firm in the decisions, explanations, and influence we create based on our expertise.

You are an expert. So be gentle but firm in your encounters, interactions, and conversations with clients, colleagues, leaders, friends, and family.

Of course, be a collaborator willing to to listen to feedback and share options and alternatives.

But be a collaborator from your place of expertise. You know your ideas, products, services, and solutions better than anyone. So don't be hesitant or indecisive when sharing those ideas.

Practice being gentle but firm in your conversations this week. Listen to feedback, ask open-ended questions, but don't be afraid to be firm sharing your expertise with others.

Thanks for reading everyone; like, comment, and share with current and aspiring Breakthrough Communicators.

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications; helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

Enjoyed the read? Every blog is available on my Youtube channel in video format along with other great content. Subscribe today!

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff: Breakthrough Communicators Tip #17

Hello everyone,

Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

Accomplishing our intentions and creating influence in our communities isn't easy.

There's years of fear, skepticism, and  insecurity, presenting as a protective shield we need to penetrate in order to speak to the child in charge and ultimately build deeper, more meaningful personal and professional relationships.

That's why Breakthrough Communicators don't sweat the small stuff. If we let every objection, rejection, and moment of resistance deter us from accomplishing our intentions, our ideas, needs, and desires would never be fulfilled.

Instead we let the expectation of success drive our intentions and look at moments of resistance as opportunities, not failures.

Take an objection, for example. You know your product or service is the answer to your other's problem. But they keep objecting.

So what's really happening here?

Something is triggering their protective shielding, which feels compelled to safeguard the child in charge.

This isn't failure, it's an opportunity. If your other is objecting, they haven't taken ownership which means it's time to reengage the child in charge by asking more questions and actively listening to their answers.

What does love, security, and community look like in their life? Through their answers you can slowly guide them to the understanding what you do, who you are, what you offer, is the answer to their wants and needs.

But we can't do that if the small stuff triggers us into over-explaination, getting frustrated, or giving up.

Because those are our self-defense mechanisms. And how can we expect to talk to the child in charge, if we're not vulnerable enough to share our own?

So practice not sweating the small stuff this week. Use objection, rejection, and resistance as an opportunity to ask more questions, be an active listener, and continue to be simple and specific about who you are and how you help.

Thanks for reading everyone; like, comment, and share with current and aspiring Breakthrough Communicators.

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications; helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

Enjoyed the read? Every blog is available on my Youtube channel in video format along with other great content. Subscribe today!

"It's Not Valuable if We Don't Understand It": Breakthrough Communicators Tip #15

Hello everyone,

Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

Before I started Speak Into Action, I was a theatre professor at the University of South Alabama. Part of my academic responsibility was theatre scholarship, and believe me, if there was a five-syllable word that fit the article I was writing, I used it. 

But changing careers didn't change my need to use five-syllable language. And even though I was responsible for teaching others to communicate their needs more effectively, the language I chose made it a struggle to communicate my own value.

Breakthrough Communicators have ideas, feelings, and needs we want to share with others. Those ideas have influence because we've demonstrated ourselves as a trusted relationship and built genuine rapport with our other.

But we can run the risk of undermining that trust, rapport, and value if we don't commit to this Breakthrough Communicator skill:

Keep

It

Simple

Drop the jargon, drop the language only you understand, and don't overwhelm others with too much information.

If you want to be understood, you must keep your value, needs, and ideas succinct, simple-to-follow, and direct.

Remember, people have short attention spans. They are not going to stay engaged if they don't understand what you're saying.  Individuals also retain only one to three pieces of information from any given conversation or presentation. So there's no value in too much information.

Set yourself and your other up for success by keeping it simple.

—This is what I want you to do.

—This is how I need your help.

—This is the value I bring.

By keeping it simple, Breakthrough Communicators build deeper, more meaningful personal and professional relationships.

So practice this week.

In one sentence:

How do you help others?

What kind of people do you want to meet and add to your community?

What is your big idea?

Build and demonstrate confidence, get precise with your messaging, and keep other engaged by...

Keeping it simple.

Thanks for reading everyone, like comment, and share with current and aspiring Breakthrough Communicators.

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications; helping businesses perform better, by training better performers.

Enjoyed the read? Every blog is available on my Youtube channel in video format along with other great content. Subscribe today!

Earn Their Trust Every Time: Breakthrough Communicators' Tip # 10

Hello everyone,

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

Breakthrough Communicators have needs too. We have our own dreams and desires and we need a healthy community to help us achieve those goals.

And there is an invaluable trust-building step in effective communication which ensures a stable bridge between the needs of our other and the needs of ourselves.

Show acceptance.

We have to show acceptance for who our other is right now, in the present.

Resist diving into everything they're doing wrong in their lives, businesses, careers, etc. All the ways they're limiting their own potential and success.

It sounds obvious.

But I see it happen all the time.

"You're doing it all wrong."

"You'll never be get it right if you keep..."

"No wonder you're not succeeding."

This negativity immediately triggers self-defense mechanisms and disengages the child in charge. At which point you're no longer talking to the inner-decision maker and the possibility of developing a more meaningful relationship is lost.

The opportunity to coach, challenge, mentor, and encourage and foster growth will come.

But we have to show acceptance first.

Your other is enough.

Smart enough.

Savvy enough

Funny enough.

Bold enough.

Prepared enough.

Otherwise we would have sorted them out while modeling and matching behavior and we wouldn't be pursuing a deeper personal or professional relationship with them.

So, in your day-to-day conversations, build more trust by showing acceptance. Assure your other's child in charge they're on the right path to achieving the love, community, and security they so desperately desire by being enough today.

You'll be happy you did.

Thanks for reading everyone. Like, comment, and share with those who would most benefit from being Breakthrough Communicators.

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications; helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

Enjoyed the read? Every blog is available on my Youtube channel in video format along with other great content. Subscribe today!