Get the Decision-Maker to Open Up and Share: Breakthrough Communicator Tip #7

Hello everyone,

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

Breakthrough Communicators determine who they work with, and who they bring into their personal and professional community by modeling the behavior they wish to receive. When we share our authentic, vulnerable child in charge, those individuals we want to surround ourselves with will accept that authentic self and share theirs in turn.

But then how do we get the Decision-Maker to open up and share even more?

Ask open-ended questions.

If you want your other to engage, ask questions which penetrate the protective shielding that is looking to dismiss and shut down trust-building opportunities.

Remember the child in charge has been hurt. The Decision-Maker is afraid to let down their guard and build deeper relationships because they've been injured before. Our protective armor is looking for a way to safeguard the child. 

And while "Yes" and "No" questions can be highly influential when used strategically, they're meaningless if you're not willing to take the time to build rapport through sincere, thought-provoking, open-ended questions.

By committing to questions which interest the child in charge, you invite the inner decision-maker to share their thoughts and feelings.

In this way you demonstrate the value and importance of your other's needs, emotions, and opinions.

People love talking about themselves, the same way they love hearing the sound of their own name. Open-ended questions provide space for our other to talk and share the love, community, and security they're desperately searching for.

So in your conversations this weekend prioritize open-ended questions. Ask questions which require more thought and engagement, not less.

"What" questions.

"Why" questions.

"How" questions.

These require more than one-word answers, are of great value in information gathering, encourage faster rapport and deeper relationships, and most importantly breakthrough our self-created armor and speak directly to the inner Decision-Maker.

Thanks for reading; like, share, and comment with your favorite open-ended questions for building deeper relationships.

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications--helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

Be Gentle, But Firm: Breakthrough Communicators' Tip #18

Hello everyone,

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

I remember when I defended my thesis during my final year of graduate school. I met with a handful faculty members all who watched my thesis directing project and read my written thesis.

Before entering the room, my graduate advisor looked at me and said, "Remember, you're the expert."

In the moment I definitely didn't feel like the expert. But in reality, no one in that room put in the time, energy, and effort on that particular production, and the research which informed my approach to it.

Breakthrough Communicators are experts. About themselves, their ideas, their work, their product and service offerings, and their wants, needs, and desires.

If I could go back in time and handle that room of faculty members differently, I would utilize this Breakthrough Communicator technique.

Be gentle, but firm.

As the expert there is space to be gentle using positive language, showing acceptance, and applying inquiry-based listening. But there's also room to be firm in the decisions, explanations, and influence we create based on our expertise.

You are an expert. So be gentle but firm in your encounters, interactions, and conversations with clients, colleagues, leaders, friends, and family.

Of course, be a collaborator willing to to listen to feedback and share options and alternatives.

But be a collaborator from your place of expertise. You know your ideas, products, services, and solutions better than anyone. So don't be hesitant or indecisive when sharing those ideas.

Practice being gentle but firm in your conversations this week. Listen to feedback, ask open-ended questions, but don't be afraid to be firm sharing your expertise with others.

Thanks for reading everyone; like, comment, and share with current and aspiring Breakthrough Communicators.

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications; helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

Enjoyed the read? Every blog is available on my Youtube channel in video format along with other great content. Subscribe today!

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff: Breakthrough Communicators Tip #17

Hello everyone,

Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

Accomplishing our intentions and creating influence in our communities isn't easy.

There's years of fear, skepticism, and  insecurity, presenting as a protective shield we need to penetrate in order to speak to the child in charge and ultimately build deeper, more meaningful personal and professional relationships.

That's why Breakthrough Communicators don't sweat the small stuff. If we let every objection, rejection, and moment of resistance deter us from accomplishing our intentions, our ideas, needs, and desires would never be fulfilled.

Instead we let the expectation of success drive our intentions and look at moments of resistance as opportunities, not failures.

Take an objection, for example. You know your product or service is the answer to your other's problem. But they keep objecting.

So what's really happening here?

Something is triggering their protective shielding, which feels compelled to safeguard the child in charge.

This isn't failure, it's an opportunity. If your other is objecting, they haven't taken ownership which means it's time to reengage the child in charge by asking more questions and actively listening to their answers.

What does love, security, and community look like in their life? Through their answers you can slowly guide them to the understanding what you do, who you are, what you offer, is the answer to their wants and needs.

But we can't do that if the small stuff triggers us into over-explaination, getting frustrated, or giving up.

Because those are our self-defense mechanisms. And how can we expect to talk to the child in charge, if we're not vulnerable enough to share our own?

So practice not sweating the small stuff this week. Use objection, rejection, and resistance as an opportunity to ask more questions, be an active listener, and continue to be simple and specific about who you are and how you help.

Thanks for reading everyone; like, comment, and share with current and aspiring Breakthrough Communicators.

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications; helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

Enjoyed the read? Every blog is available on my Youtube channel in video format along with other great content. Subscribe today!

Keep the Decision-Maker Talking: Breakthrough Communicator Tip #8

Hello everyone,

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

When we ask open-ended questions, we create room for our other to share about their needs, desires, and feelings--one of our absolute favorite things to do.

It is an essential technique for building trust and rapport, information-gathering, and deepening our personal and professional relationships.

But it can easily be undone with one crippling mistake.

We see it time and time again.

And I'm willing to bet every single one of us has--myself included--committed this detrimental error.

Do...

Not...

Interrupt.

Do not interrupt.

Breakthrough Communicators create this awesome, necessary space for their connections to open up, be transparent, and be authentic.

Nothing shuts this earnest vulnerability down faster than interruption.

Think about the last time you were sharing a story, idea, dream and someone cut you off.

How did you feel?

Perturbed?

Disempowered?

Less than?

Ignored?

Did you feel anything but negativity and maybe a little shame?

Maybe your protective armor was even triggered to protect your child in charge.

Breakthrough Communicators stay connected with the real Decision-Maker by listening more and talking less.

Let them share.

Let them complete their thoughts.

Let them really answer questions.

And please, please, please don't assume--halfway through their thought--you know where it's going and don't have to listen anymore.

You will accomplish nothing through interruption except disengaging the child in charge.

So add this to your communication repertoire:

In addition to asking more open-ended questions, don't interrupt the answers.

Build more intimate, constructive relationships with prospective and current clients, friends, family, children, by encouraging them to keep talking.

Thank you for reading; as always like, comment, and share this blog with fellow Breakthrough Communicators. Let's build a world of richer, more satisfying relationships.

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications; helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

Enjoyed the read? Every blog is available on my Youtube channel in video format along with other great content. Subscribe today!

Hold Anyone's Attention: Breakthrough Communicators' Tip #6

Hello everyone,

Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

Breakthrough Communicators build instant rapport with real decision makers, or the child in charge, by focusing intention and expectation through direct eye contact. And to master these skills, they practice every day.

But how do Breakthrough Communicators grab and hold the attention of these decision-makers?

Use.

Their.

Name.

There is no faster, and more positive way to immediately secure the attention of another.

Imagine walking through a crowded park event--pre-pandemic of course--and someone shouts "Chris!" No less than twelve people will instinctively turn around because there's always at least a dozen Chris's around and because we are conditioned to respond to our name.

We like our name.

We like how it sounds.

We like when other people say our name.

And Breakthrough Communicators use names to build deeper, more secure personal and professional relationships.

You see, when you ask someone's name, you indicate they are important enough to build a deeper relationship with.

When you say someone's name, you immediately draw them into your conversation.

When you remember someone's name, you demonstrate they are an important member of your personal or professional community.

And believe me, the child in charge wants to be a part of a community.

So use their name.

If you don't know it, ask.

If they have a name tag. Take advantage of it.

If you're engaged in conversation, use their name multiple times. It encourages your other to maintain attention and reinforces their name in your memory so you can quickly refer to it in a conversation in the future.

Personalize relationships by using names.

Lower defense mechanisms by using names.

And give those names an upward inflection!

Make the name something exciting to say. People want you to say their name. They want to hear it spoken positively and enthusiastically.

And if you can use their name while making eye contact, finding that iris...

Well, this is what breakthrough communicators do.

Thank you for reading everyone, share in the comments section your favorite way to memorize names. I like to use a name no less than three times in a conversation to help it stick. What works for you?

As always like, comment, and share with those who would benefit most from being a Breakthrough Communicator.

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications; helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

Enjoyed the read? Every blog is available on my Youtube channel in video format along with other great content. Subscribe today!