Breakthrough Communicator Tip # 6: Model and Expect the Behavior You Want in Return

Hello everyone,

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

The building blocks for developing deep, secure personal and professional relationships are committing to conversation, using intention and expectation, and seeing the child in charge. In order to help in these three areas we find the iris and make eye contact to build instant rapport and use their name to grab and hold attention.

But what next?

How do we proceed?

This is an important moment for Breakthrough Communicators. When we determine if our other is right for us. Is this the type of person I want to build a deeper, more secure relationship with?

And it doesn't have to be everyone. We have ideal clients for a reason. We surround ourselves with individuals who bring out the best in us for a reason. It does not, should not, and cannot be everyone.

So how do we determine who fits?

Model and expect the behavior you want in return.

Human beings are pretty good at mirroring the emotion and intention of others. We empathize and sympathize; we match energy; we meet people where they are at.

But Breakthrough Communicators also establish expectations to be mirrored.

We are relentlessly authentic and strategic in that authenticity.

So when we model certain language and certain behavior, and share our vulnerable child in charge, it is with the understanding the people we want to build stronger relationships with--the people we want in our personal and professional communities--will accept our authentic self, will accept our breakthrough language, and will share their child in charge in return.

It doesn't mean we manipulate others to think and feel as we do. But it does mean our product and services aren't for everyone. It does mean we don't build deeper personal relationships with everyone.

And by modelling the behavior you expect from other's, by inviting them to mirror you also, Breakthrough Communicators determine the relationships they want to further pursue and strengthen.

So as part of your intention and expectation, model your authentic self. Model your child in charge. And see how that vulnerability and authenticity is met.

Use this important information-gathering process to determine if your other is the right person to invest your time and energy.

If they are, that's amazing! These remaining episodes will continue to show you how to build meaningful relationships with these people.

If they are not, let them go.

Thanks for reading everyone, like, comment, and share with current and aspiring Breakthrough Communicators.

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications; helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

Do You Have Ten Minutes to Try Something New?

Hello everyone!

Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

Albert Einstein famously said, "A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new."

I'm not sure if it's the New Year, new goals, new videos, but I have found myself reminiscences on past failures a lot in recent days--both professional and personal.

No doubt it's shame, guilt, and fear screaming at me to stop being vulnerable and putting myself out there before a make a complete fool of myself.

Einstein's words are comforting because they remind us that what our head noise--inner demons, shame tracks, whatever you want to call it--perceives as monumental even cataclysmic failures/mistakes/inadequacy is actually necessary, incremental growth.

Progress, not perfection, should be the goal of any innovative business leader. The mistakes that come from putting ourselves out there and trying something new ultimately lead to advancement and success.

So here's my challenge to you:

It’s no secret I would dearly love everyone in my circle to use video as a sharing device for their thoughts and ideas. And we make all sorts of excuses not to. Time, resources, money--although I guarantee in the time it takes you to write a 300-word blog, you could create an awesome video using the camera on your phone and you would still have content for your awesome blog.

But if a lack of time is really your motivating factor for not producing video content then listen to the words of Einstein, don't be afraid to make a mistake, and limit yourself to three takes. 300 words is 2-3 minutes of content. Three takes is ten minutes.

Do you have ten minutes to make yourself seen, felt, and experienced by your online connections?

So why not try something new?

Progress, not perfection.

Thanks for reading, this is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications--helping businesses perform better, by training better performers.

P.S. Write "Secret" in the comments section and I'll message you my simple trick for creating succinct, well-spoken videos.

Enjoyed the read?

Every blog is available on my Youtube channel in video format along with other great content. Subscribe today!

Persuading Crowds Part 4: A Crowd of Many

Hello everyone!

Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

Welcome to the final portion of our four-week series on Crowd Persuasion inspired by T.S. Eliot's quote.

Do we all know it by heart?

"Business today consists in persuading crowds."

Part two covered a crowd of self, last week we went over a crowd of one, today we talk about persuading a crowd of many. And, you guessed it, persuading a crowd of many is about being present, transparent, and consistent.

Being Present: Looks different because with a crowd of one you want your audience to dominate the conversation. Talk less, listen more. With a crowd of many, this really isn't feasible unless you have two hours of material and eight hours of time. Conversation slows the tempo and pacing of a presentation which is why it is so important, when developing a speaking event, to plan out the timing of audience participation.

But before I get too wildly off topic, since one to many presentations almost always necessitate a speaker-driven performance, being present has to look a little different.

It becomes about non-verbal engagement, and mirroring. And not with your entire audience, you do not have to connect with your entire audience. In fact, you will not connect with your entire audience. And I think biggest mistake many presenters make is focusing on the wrong audience.

Believe it or not, like most things, there's an 80/20 rule for audiences. 80% of your audience is engaged, absorbed, and eager to hear what you have to say. 20% are somewhere else. Not feeling well. Checking an email from their kid's school. Skipped breakfast and starving. Whatever the reason, they're not there. Oh well.

What we cannot do as presenters is pivot for or try to force a connection with the 20%. They're a lost cause. Let them go. Instead focus on the 80%. Mirror their energy and enthusiasm back on them. Reward their excitement by giving them special attention. That's the audience you're persuading. Don't miss your shot in the vain attempt to please everyone.

Be Transparent: Suit the action to the word, the word to the action. Being a great performer is about finding alignment between words, actions, body language, and vocal variety. This is why we rehearse. To find and hone that alignment so when we walk into a presentation we are both masterly prepared, while also portraying the illusion of spontaneity.

Be Consistent: Script it. You can wing it but it won't be as good. When people tell me they're good enough to just wing it, all I hear is, "I don't take this presentation seriously enough to prepare."

Script it.

Rehearse it.

Memorize it.

Own it.

Then you have it forever.

Thank you for following this series the last few weeks. As promised, I have a challenge for you. Create a sixty-second video of yourself and put it on LinkedIn, Youtube, Facebook, or any other social media vessel of choice. It can be an ask, a get to know you, a quick video about a book we all need to read, but post it and put yourself out there.

The first five people who post their video and share with me a link to view, I'll send you feedback on what works really well about your video presence along with a couple of quick tips to make your videos even better.

Thanks everyone for reading, this is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications: helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

Enjoyed the read?

Every blog is available on my Youtube channel in video format along with other great content. Subscribe today!

Persuading Crowds Part 3: A Crowd of One

Hey everyone!

Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

Welcome to Part Three of this series on Crowd Persuasion, again brought to you by T.S. Eliot's quote: "Business today consists in persuading crowds.”

Today's focus is "A Crowd of One"; what does persuasion look like in 1-2-1 situations? The three principles we used last week for "An Audience of Self", be present, be transparent, be consistent, are the same principles we use when working with an audience of one--head's up, they're the same principles we'll use when we discuss persuading crowds of many.

Be Present: Dale Carnegie was a master at this. If you haven't read it, 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' absolutely has to be the next book on your reading list. 

If you want to persuade you have to be interested and engaged in the other person. Talk less, listen more, ask questions, basically shut up and get out of your own way.

To use a great theatre term, 'live in the moment' with your other. There cannot be anything more important than the conversation you have in the moment. Your other is the most interesting human being in the world. That's the role you play in 1-2-1 crowd persuasion.

Be Transparent: Your other has to believe you, and they're not going to believe you if all you do is say it. They have to see, feel, and experience your energy and enthusiasm about them. And my two favorite ways to do this:

1) Create a box that goes from their shoulder to shoulder and from the top of their chest to the top of their head. This is your focus box and your eyes never leave it. Staying in their focus box forces them to stay in yours which ensures a stronger connection.

2) Your body language and energy needs to move toward them, not away from them. Use your body language to encourage an attachment.

Finally, Be Consistent: The worst thing we can do to ourselves is undermine growth, confidence, and success by reinventing the wheel every time we engage a different crowd of one. I understand every person is different and requires nuance during interaction but nuance and inconsistency are not the same thing. So save yourself the trouble and write a script. If you're not great at asking questions: write them down. Your price presentation is a mess: write it down. You struggle with overcoming objections: write your responses down. Then take the time to memorize and own those responses. The more comfortable you are in your memorization, the easier it will be to adapt the script to fit each different audience.

For those of you who don't memorize well, the first three people who respond with the words 'memorize better' in the comments section, I'll send you my 10-day process for memorizing scripts.

So there it is: Be present. Be transparent. Be consistent. Go kick ass in your 1-2-1 persuasion opportunities.

Thanks again for reading, this is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications: helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

Enjoyed the read?

Every blog is available on my Youtube channel in video format along with other great content. Subscribe today!

Persuading Crowds Part 2: A Crowd of Self

Hey everyone, Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

Welcome to part two of Crowd Persuasion, brought to you by T.S. Eliot's quote, "business today consists in persuading crowds.”

There are three types of crowds I want to focus on in the following weeks and this crowd is by far the most unruly, the most obnoxious, the most critical, and the most important.

The Crowd of Self

This is the crowd that shuts us down again and again before we even have the opportunity to persuade others. This crowd has been growing inside of us for decades and reminds us constantly of perceived failures, humiliation, shame, regret, harsh criticism all in an effort to emphasize we are not enough. Not smart enough. Not talented enough. Not attractive enough. Not--insert your own limiting belief here--enough.

And we are never going to be able to present the best version of ourselves and persuade others if we can't persuade ourselves.

There is no fake it till you make it if you don't believe you can make it.

So let's persuade ourselves.

Great performers commit to three principles: Being Present. Being Transparent. And Being Consistent.

Being Present with ourselves means being honest, vulnerable, and authentic. Asking ourselves tough questions. What do we want in life and what are the limiting beliefs holding us back? What do we get from those limiting beliefs? How would our lives change if we let go of those limiting beliefs? What are we prepared to do to live out best lives?

Being transparent means, in the immortal words of Shakespeare, "Suit the action to the word, the word to the action." Once you get present, honest, and vulnerable with yourself, and put your limiting beliefs into words, you now have to suit your actions to your words. What are you going to do about it? What actions will you put into place to persuade yourself you are capable of persuading others?

Finally being consistent means building a repeatable process for self-help and self-motivation. If daily affirmations are a part of your process, you have to do it daily. If learning and development is a part of your process, you have to do it regularly. Make being the best version of yourself a habit.

Because, again, we cannot persuade others until we persuade ourselves.

Have you persuaded your Crowd of Self? If the answer is no, be present, be transparent, be consistent.

What are you waiting for?

Thanks for reading everyone, this is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications: helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

Enjoyed the read?

Every blog is available on my Youtube channel in video format along with other great content. Subscribe today!