Be Gentle, But Firm: Breakthrough Communicators' Tip #18

Hello everyone,

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

I remember when I defended my thesis during my final year of graduate school. I met with a handful faculty members all who watched my thesis directing project and read my written thesis.

Before entering the room, my graduate advisor looked at me and said, "Remember, you're the expert."

In the moment I definitely didn't feel like the expert. But in reality, no one in that room put in the time, energy, and effort on that particular production, and the research which informed my approach to it.

Breakthrough Communicators are experts. About themselves, their ideas, their work, their product and service offerings, and their wants, needs, and desires.

If I could go back in time and handle that room of faculty members differently, I would utilize this Breakthrough Communicator technique.

Be gentle, but firm.

As the expert there is space to be gentle using positive language, showing acceptance, and applying inquiry-based listening. But there's also room to be firm in the decisions, explanations, and influence we create based on our expertise.

You are an expert. So be gentle but firm in your encounters, interactions, and conversations with clients, colleagues, leaders, friends, and family.

Of course, be a collaborator willing to to listen to feedback and share options and alternatives.

But be a collaborator from your place of expertise. You know your ideas, products, services, and solutions better than anyone. So don't be hesitant or indecisive when sharing those ideas.

Practice being gentle but firm in your conversations this week. Listen to feedback, ask open-ended questions, but don't be afraid to be firm sharing your expertise with others.

Thanks for reading everyone; like, comment, and share with current and aspiring Breakthrough Communicators.

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications; helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

Enjoyed the read? Every blog is available on my Youtube channel in video format along with other great content. Subscribe today!

Earn Their Trust Every Time: Breakthrough Communicators' Tip # 10

Hello everyone,

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

Breakthrough Communicators have needs too. We have our own dreams and desires and we need a healthy community to help us achieve those goals.

And there is an invaluable trust-building step in effective communication which ensures a stable bridge between the needs of our other and the needs of ourselves.

Show acceptance.

We have to show acceptance for who our other is right now, in the present.

Resist diving into everything they're doing wrong in their lives, businesses, careers, etc. All the ways they're limiting their own potential and success.

It sounds obvious.

But I see it happen all the time.

"You're doing it all wrong."

"You'll never be get it right if you keep..."

"No wonder you're not succeeding."

This negativity immediately triggers self-defense mechanisms and disengages the child in charge. At which point you're no longer talking to the inner-decision maker and the possibility of developing a more meaningful relationship is lost.

The opportunity to coach, challenge, mentor, and encourage and foster growth will come.

But we have to show acceptance first.

Your other is enough.

Smart enough.

Savvy enough

Funny enough.

Bold enough.

Prepared enough.

Otherwise we would have sorted them out while modeling and matching behavior and we wouldn't be pursuing a deeper personal or professional relationship with them.

So, in your day-to-day conversations, build more trust by showing acceptance. Assure your other's child in charge they're on the right path to achieving the love, community, and security they so desperately desire by being enough today.

You'll be happy you did.

Thanks for reading everyone. Like, comment, and share with those who would most benefit from being Breakthrough Communicators.

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications; helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

Enjoyed the read? Every blog is available on my Youtube channel in video format along with other great content. Subscribe today!

Breakthrough Communicators: How to turn small talk into big talk

Hello,

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

Today’s blog focuses on my third episode of "Breakthrough Communicators" where I show you how to turn "small talk" into "big talk."

Over the past week, you have committed to five conversations a day. Many of you have committed to more, hopefully no one to less. Although if you haven't made it to five, don't give up or be ashamed. Persevere. I promise, when you're committing to at least five conversations per day you will develop stronger communication skills.

Now, the conversations we've been having, whether five or fifty, have certainly ranged in importance. But, my guess is many fall in the "small talk" category.

I really enjoy small talk. It is a safe way to practice and develop certain communication skills.

However, we will never fully succeed as Breakthrough Communicators if "small talk" never matures into "big talk".

The difference between "small talk" and "big talk"?

Intention and expectation.

It is human nature to want things from other's. To have needs, desires, goals, and dreams. A big part of building healthy, secure relationships and loving communities is setting goals and relying on others to help us achieve them.

So I want you to start adding "intention" and "expectation" to your daily conversations.

Intention is our goals. It's what we want to accomplish.

“I want to commit to five conversations per day.”

“I want to talk to my grandmother three times this month.”

“I want to close twelve deals this quarter.”

“I want to spend thirty minutes a day listening to and sharing with my spouse or partner.”

“I want to make the cashier at the supermarket laugh.”

Each intention requires action on the part of us and our other. Notice I didn't say, "I want to call my grandmother...", I said “I want to talk to my grandmother.”

The first one's easy. I call three times, she never answers. I'm done. I could even strategically call when I know she's not around. Then I don't have to talk. But who does that benefit? If you're the only beneficiary, it's not a good intention.

Intention requires action by both parties.

Expectation is the why.

“I want to close twelve deals this quarter because then I get my closing bonus.”

“I want to talk and share with my spouse every day because we've been drifting apart and I miss our closeness.”

“I want to make the cashier at the supermarket laugh because I found out his dog died last week and he's been really down.”

In addition to being the why, expectations always assume success.

What's the point of setting a goal of twelve sales if we don't expect to achieve it?

This expectation raises the stakes of our goal-oriented conversations. It makes them more important.

“I have to succeed.”

“I have to get a hold of grandma three times.”

“It has to be twelve sales.”

“I have to put aside thirty minutes for my spouse every night.”

“I have to make him laugh.”

Intention and expectation turns "small talk" into "big talk".

That's what I want you to do this week. Take your five daily conversations; give them an intention and give them an expectation.

It's gonna be a little scary. Because "big talk" has big stakes. When we set intention and expectation, we create the possibility of failure.

Don't worry about it. Set goals and expect success in your conversations and interactions and I guarantee you're well on your way to being a Breakthrough Communicator.

Thanks for reading. Like, comment, and share your experience adding intention and expectation to your conversations; and don't keep this series to yourself. Who do you know would benefit from being a Breakthrough Communicator. Share this blog with them.

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications; helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

Enjoyed the read?

Every blog is available on my Youtube channel in video format along with other great content. Subscribe today!