Breakthrough Communicators: How to speak directly to the decision maker

Hello,

This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications.

Today’s "Breakthrough Communicators" skill focuses on breaking through and talking to the real decision maker.

Over the last week we have committed to five conversations per day and applied intention and expectation to those conversations.

Today we see our relationships for who they really are.

Did you ever read Matilda by Roald Dahl? If not, here's a one-sentence summary: a young girl develops magical powers in response to the abuse, trauma and mistreatment she experiences at the hands of her family, peers, and a tyrannical headmistress.

It's a wonderful story which beautifully captures the self-defense mechanisms we create in response to the hurt, trauma, and abuse we experience in our early lives.

As human beings we have core needs which must be met. Love, security, community. And as children we take these core needs for granted. We assume, even expect, food, clothing, shelter, love, companionship, play.

Then something happens which disrupts the expectation of our basic needs. A meal is skipped. Betrayal by a friend. Physical abuse in the home. And out of our survivalist mindset comes that first layer of protection.

My friend betrayed me. I need to be wary of making new friends.

I missed a meal, I need to save some of my lunch just in case it happens again.

The class laughed at me when I answered a question wrong. Maybe I shouldn't answer any more questions.

Whether we were three years old, five, seven, that first moment when we could no longer assume our needs would be met paved the way for layer upon layer of personal shielding. Until ten, twenty, fifty years later we have magnificently wrapped our inner child in a suit of armor built for one purpose: to protect him or her from pain.

These suits of armor walk amongst one another attempting to converse with a decision maker they cannot see.

My favorite part of Matilda, spoiler alert, is when the kind, caring Miss Honey--the only character to show Matilda the love, security, and community she so desperately wanted to take for granted--adopts Matilda. And from that day forward, Matilda's powers are gone. The suit of armor is no longer necessary because her needs are met.

If it were only that easy.

But strong, meaningful personal relationships do break down the armor and allow us to be vulnerable and authentic.

Valuable business resources like life-changing products, consulting services, and coaching programs break down the armor and allow us to be vulnerable and authentic.

Before we break down that armor we have to see past the shielding to the child in charge it's meant to protect.

That's the decision-maker we must see and talk to if we ever expect to strengthen our personal and professional relationships.

So this is what I want you to do: in addition to committing to your five conversations with intention and expectation, I want you to see the child in charge. Look past the shielding, look past the armor and see the child who desperately wants to take for granted again love, security, and community in their life.

That's the foundation of Breakthrough Communication.

We commit to conversation.

We apply intention and expectation.

And most of all we see the child in charge.

Thanks for reading everyone, like, comment, share your experiences, and share with your friends. This is Christopher Peck with Speak Into Action Communications; helping businesses perform better by training better performers.

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