Stop Playing it Safe: How to Speak So People Take Action

“I’m not really an actor.”

That’s what they say—until finals week.

Let me set the scene. It’s the end of the semester. Most students are buried in textbooks, trying to improve, maintain, or salvage their grades. And then there’s that one student—maybe three or four—who walks into your office with a single, urgent question:

“What do I need to pass your class?”

You glance at their attendance. Their missing assignments. Their midterm score. It’s not good. You don’t recognize their face because they’ve barely shown up. So you say what any reasonable educator would say:

“You’ll need to retake the class.”

And then it begins.

Tears. Pleading. Bargaining. Anger. Supplication.

Suddenly, this student—who claimed they weren’t an actor—is giving the performance of a lifetime. Their voice trembles with urgency. Their eyes lock onto yours with intensity. Their body leans in, desperate to provoke one thing: action.

And here’s the irony:

They couldn’t move an audience on stage to save their life. But in your office? They’re magnetic.

The Power of Provocation

This is the difference between communication that informs and communication that influences.

Between speaking to be heard and speaking to move someone—emotionally, decisively, immediately.

Provocation is the first pillar of Active Communication. It’s the moment when you stop talking at someone and start speaking for something. It’s the spark that turns passive exchange into active engagement.

But here’s the catch: provocation is uncomfortable. It requires vulnerability. It demands that you care enough to risk being misunderstood, rejected, or judged. That’s why so many people avoid it.

We’ve been taught that asking for what we want is selfish. That stirring emotion is manipulative. That urgency is impolite. So we soften our message. We hedge. We hope someone else will say it first.

But when you provoke with purpose—when your goal is mutual benefit, shared growth, or meaningful change—your communication becomes a tool of transformation.

Provocation in the Real World

You don’t need to be an actor or a student in crisis to understand this.

You’ve felt it in a job interview when you really needed the role.

You’ve used it in a pitch when you believed in your idea.

You’ve leaned on it in a relationship when something had to change.

In those moments, you weren’t just communicating. You were provoking. You were trying to move someone—to act, to decide, to commit.

And that’s the essence of Active Communication.

How to Provoke with Purpose

Here are a few questions to guide your next conversation:

• What do I want my listener to do as a result of this interaction?

• Why does it matter—to me, and to them?

• Am I willing to risk discomfort in order to create clarity?

• Is my message rooted in mutual benefit, am I being ethical in my influence?

Provocation isn’t about pressure. It’s about presence.

It’s about showing up with enough urgency, clarity, and care that your listener can’t help but lean in.

So, the next time you speak—whether in a meeting, a classroom, or across the dinner table—ask yourself:

Am I informing, or am I influencing?

Am I talking, or am I provoking?

Because if you want to move people, you have to give them something worth moving toward.