Why People Don't Listen to You
Ever wonder why people don’t listen to you?
I do.
Every day.
And in my years as a theatre director, writer, educator, and communication coach, I’ve defined the three primary reasons your audience does not listen to you.
I’m certain there are more. I’ll spend the rest of my life searching them out.
In the meantime, these are the top three reasons why people do not listen to you:
1) You’re not saying anything. NOT, you’re not contributing anything of value or speaking the language of your ideal client or audience or solving a problem or whatever.
You’re not engaging in conversation and communication with others.
People cannot listen to you if you’re not speaking. So, of course, no one listening to you if you’re not spending time everyday engaging in conversation with the express purpose of building deeper, more meaningful personal and professional relationships.
Sounds obvious doesn’t it? But raise you’re hand if you’ve ever been in a position where you determined beforehand you wouldn’t be heard so you just chose not to speak.
That’s tough.
That’s real.
That’s some people’s lives.
I had a baby!
Well, not me personally but my beautiful wife Arielle did.
It was amazing.
And the reason for my writing hiatus.
So thank you for your patience in between blogs.
They’re coming back Tuesday September 21st and will be dropping every other Tuesday at least until the end of the year.
Thank you again for all your amazing support as I share Breakthrough Communicator strategies with my amazing community :)
Get the Decision-Maker to Open Up and Share: Breakthrough Communicator Tip #7
Breakthrough Communicators determine who they work with and who they bring into their personal and professional community by modeling the behavior they wish to receive. When we share our authentic, vulnerable child in charge, those individuals we want to surround ourselves with will accept that authentic self and share theirs in turn.
But then how do we get the Decision-Maker to open up and share even more?
Ask open-ended questions.
If you want your other to engage, ask questions which penetrate the protective shielding that is looking to dismiss and shut down trust-building opportunities.
Be A Breakthrough Communicator For Yourself
Breakthrough Communicators elevate their interactions and build genuine rapport by utilizing strategies such as being clear and specific with our action-based intentions and expectations, committing to inquiry-based listening, and being gentle but firm when sharing our expertise, ideas, passions and goals.
But there is one more commitment I want you to make.
One more skill which ensures Breakthrough Communicators develop the loving, secure communities they desire.
That skill?
Take every Breakthrough Communicator strategy you have learned and apply it to yourself.
Don't Be A Nag: Breakthrough Communicator Tip #20
Raise you hand if you enjoy being nagged.
No you don't, put your hand down.
No one likes to be nagged.
By a partner…
A parent…
That guy at work who wants to borrow your truck next week to move a couch…
No one likes to be nagged.
Which is why Breakthrough Communicators don't.
Harder than it seems.
But Breakthrough Communicators avoid nagging by understanding three crucial aspects of nagging:
1) It comes from a well-intentioned place. Your parent/partner/the guy from work needs something. And if the need is great enough to nag, it's probably pretty important. But nagging is so detrimental to our well-intentioned purposes because even if it best serves our other, the risk of shutting down the child in charge and triggering self-defense mechanisms makes it a really ineffective form of persuasion.