Breakthrough Communicators: How to speak directly to the decision maker
Today we see our relationships for who they really are.
Did you ever read Matilda by Roald Dahl? If not, here's a one-sentence summary: a young girl develops magical powers in response to the abuse, trauma and mistreatment she experiences at the hands of her family, peers, and a tyrannical headmistress.
It's a wonderful story which beautifully captures the self-defense mechanisms we create in response to the hurt, trauma, and abuse we experience in our early lives.
As human beings we have core needs which must be met. Love, security, community. And as children we take these core needs for granted. We assume, even expect, food, clothing, shelter, love, companionship, play.
Then something happens which disrupts the expectation of our basic needs. A meal is skipped. Betrayal by a friend. Physical abuse in the home. And out of our survivalist mindset comes that first layer of protection.
Breakthrough Communicators: How to turn small talk into big talk
I really enjoy small talk. It is a safe way to practice and develop certain communication skills.
However, we will never fully succeed as Breakthrough Communicators if "small talk" never matures into "big talk".
The difference between "small talk" and "big talk"?
Intention and expectation.
It is human nature to want things from other's. To have needs, desires, goals, and dreams. A big part of building healthy, secure relationships and loving communities is setting goals and relying on others to help us achieve them.
So I want you to start adding "intention" and "expectation" to your daily conversations.
Breakthrough Communicators: How to perfect your communication
But the performers who stand out most to me are the ones who did the work outside of rehearsal. Those few, special people who were memorized before the rest of the cast and came to rehearsal with bold ideas.
Those actors always grew the most in rehearsal and were stand-outs in performance because they made a commitment to taking ownership of their work, not just for the few hours we rehearsed, but during every available second and opportunity.
That level of commitment makes a huge difference.
And it's what I ask of you today.
Breakthrough Communicators make a Commitment to Conversation.
They practice, prepare, rehearse everyday.
Not just in front of a mirror.
Not just by reading a book.
But by engaging real human beings in conversation every day.
Breakthrough Communicators: How to be a Breakthrough Communicator
So many of us side-step the opportunity to really hone in on our communication skills--to be influential connectors capable of building strong, lasting personal and professional relationships.
Why?
When I first moved to Denver I drove for Uber as a way to make additional income. I met all sorts of unique individuals. One person, in particular, stands out--a passenger who upon discovering I was a Public Speaking Coach said, "I feel like public speaking is something you're born with. You either have it or you don't."
You either have it or you don't...
Hmmm...
We Need a Communication Revolution
Empathy, information, thoughtfulness, and active-listening are absolutely necessary skills before launching into our own opinion. And if this common saying was, "Practice empathy, information-gathering, thoughtfulness, and active-listening before launching into your own opinion," I would be talking about something else right now.
But that's not what this quote says. This statement implies we have two choices: remain silent, and because we never share any ideas, be perceived as stupid...
Or share our ideas which are stupid.