Don't Be A Nag: Breakthrough Communicator Tip #20
Raise you hand if you enjoy being nagged.
No you don't, put your hand down.
No one likes to be nagged.
By a partner…
A parent…
That guy at work who wants to borrow your truck next week to move a couch…
No one likes to be nagged.
Which is why Breakthrough Communicators don't.
Harder than it seems.
But Breakthrough Communicators avoid nagging by understanding three crucial aspects of nagging:
1) It comes from a well-intentioned place. Your parent/partner/the guy from work needs something. And if the need is great enough to nag, it's probably pretty important. But nagging is so detrimental to our well-intentioned purposes because even if it best serves our other, the risk of shutting down the child in charge and triggering self-defense mechanisms makes it a really ineffective form of persuasion.
Be Gentle, But Firm: Breakthrough Communicators' Tip #18
Before entering the room, my graduate advisor looked at me and said, "Remember, you're the expert."
In the moment I definitely didn't feel like the expert. But in reality, no one in that room put in the time, energy, and effort on that particular production, and the research which informed my approach to it.
Breakthrough Communicators are experts. About themselves, their ideas, their work, their product and service offerings, and their wants, needs, and desires.
If I could go back in time and handle that room of faculty members differently, I would utilize this Breakthrough Communicator technique.
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff: Breakthrough Communicators Tip #17
Accomplishing our intentions and creating influence in our communities isn't easy.
There's years of fear, skepticism, and insecurity, presenting as a protective shield we need to penetrate in order to speak to the child in charge and ultimately build deeper, more meaningful personal and professional relationships.
That's why Breakthrough Communicators don't sweat the small stuff. If we let every objection, rejection, and moment of resistance deter us from accomplishing our intentions, our ideas, needs, and desires would never be fulfilled.
Instead we let the expectation of success drive our intentions and look at moments of resistance as opportunities, not failures.
"It's Not Valuable if We Don't Understand It": Breakthrough Communicators Tip #15
Before I started Speak Into Action, I was a theatre professor at the University of South Alabama. Part of my academic responsibility was theatre scholarship, and believe me, if there was a five-syllable word that fit the article I was writing, I used it.
But changing careers didn't change my need to use five-syllable language. And even though I was responsible for teaching others to communicate their needs more effectively, the language I chose made it a struggle to communicate my own value.
Breakthrough Communicators have ideas, feelings, and needs we want to share with others. Those ideas have influence because we've demonstrated ourselves as a trusted relationship and built genuine rapport with our other.
But we can run the risk of undermining that trust, rapport, and value if we don't commit to this Breakthrough Communicator skill…
Earn Their Trust Every Time: Breakthrough Communicators' Tip # 10
Breakthrough Communicators have needs too. We have our own dreams and desires and we need a healthy community to help us achieve those goals.
And there is an invaluable trust-building step in effective communication which ensures a stable bridge between the needs of our other and the needs of ourselves.
Show acceptance.
We have to show acceptance for who our other is right now, in the present.
Resist diving into everything they're doing wrong in their lives, businesses, careers, etc. All the ways they're limiting their own potential and success.
It sounds obvious.
But I see it happen all the time.