Be A Breakthrough Communicator For Yourself
Breakthrough Communicators elevate their interactions and build genuine rapport by utilizing strategies such as being clear and specific with our action-based intentions and expectations, committing to inquiry-based listening, and being gentle but firm when sharing our expertise, ideas, passions and goals.
But there is one more commitment I want you to make.
One more skill which ensures Breakthrough Communicators develop the loving, secure communities they desire.
That skill?
Take every Breakthrough Communicator strategy you have learned and apply it to yourself.
Don't Be A Nag: Breakthrough Communicator Tip #20
Raise you hand if you enjoy being nagged.
No you don't, put your hand down.
No one likes to be nagged.
By a partner…
A parent…
That guy at work who wants to borrow your truck next week to move a couch…
No one likes to be nagged.
Which is why Breakthrough Communicators don't.
Harder than it seems.
But Breakthrough Communicators avoid nagging by understanding three crucial aspects of nagging:
1) It comes from a well-intentioned place. Your parent/partner/the guy from work needs something. And if the need is great enough to nag, it's probably pretty important. But nagging is so detrimental to our well-intentioned purposes because even if it best serves our other, the risk of shutting down the child in charge and triggering self-defense mechanisms makes it a really ineffective form of persuasion.
Keep the Decision-Maker Talking: Breakthrough Communicator Tip #8
When we ask open-ended questions, we create room for our other to share about their needs, desires, and feelings--one of our absolute favorite things to do.
It is an essential technique for building trust and rapport, information-gathering, and deepening our personal and professional relationships.
But it can easily be undone with one crippling mistake.
We see it time and time again.
And I'm willing to bet every single one of us has--myself included--committed this detrimental error.
Do...
Not...
Breakthrough Communicators: How to speak directly to the decision maker
Today we see our relationships for who they really are.
Did you ever read Matilda by Roald Dahl? If not, here's a one-sentence summary: a young girl develops magical powers in response to the abuse, trauma and mistreatment she experiences at the hands of her family, peers, and a tyrannical headmistress.
It's a wonderful story which beautifully captures the self-defense mechanisms we create in response to the hurt, trauma, and abuse we experience in our early lives.
As human beings we have core needs which must be met. Love, security, community. And as children we take these core needs for granted. We assume, even expect, food, clothing, shelter, love, companionship, play.
Then something happens which disrupts the expectation of our basic needs. A meal is skipped. Betrayal by a friend. Physical abuse in the home. And out of our survivalist mindset comes that first layer of protection.
Persuading Crowds Part 4: A Crowd of Many
Being Present: Looks different because with a crowd of one you want your audience to dominate the conversation. Talk less, listen more. With a crowd of many, this really isn't feasible unless you have two hours of material and eight hours of time. Conversation slows the tempo and pacing of a presentation which is why it is so important, when developing a speaking event, to plan out the timing of audience participation.