Breakthrough Communicator Tip # 6: Model and Expect the Behavior You Want in Return
The building blocks for developing deep, secure personal and professional relationships are committing to conversation, using intention and expectation, and seeing the child in charge. In order to help in these three areas we find the iris and make eye contact to build instant rapport and use their name to grab and hold attention.
But what next?
How to we proceed?
This is an important moment for Breakthrough Communicators. When we determine if our other is right for us. Is this the type of person I want to build a deeper, more secure relationship with?
And it doesn't have to be everyone. We have ideal clients for a reason. We surround ourselves with individuals who bring out the best in us for a reason. It does not, should not, and cannot be everyone.
So how do we determine who fits?
Be A Breakthrough Communicator For Yourself
Breakthrough Communicators elevate their interactions and build genuine rapport by utilizing strategies such as being clear and specific with our action-based intentions and expectations, committing to inquiry-based listening, and being gentle but firm when sharing our expertise, ideas, passions and goals.
But there is one more commitment I want you to make.
One more skill which ensures Breakthrough Communicators develop the loving, secure communities they desire.
That skill?
Take every Breakthrough Communicator strategy you have learned and apply it to yourself.
Breakthrough Communicators: How to establish an instant connection
It does not matter the format. Whether it is in person, on video, or over the phone, Breakthrough Communicators make eye contact.
So what does that look like?
In-Person: Make eye contact at least 70% of the time. This benefits both parties.
Ever heard the saying, "the shortest distance between two points is a straight line"?
The shortest distance between you and the child in charge is eye contact.
The energy of your intention and expectation flows directly to your intended target.
Furthermore, when you are making eye contact with your other, they are making eye contact with you. Which means they are more likely to hear and receive the information you are sharing, and you’re building greater know, like, and trust and stronger personal and professional relationships.
Breakthrough Communicators: How to turn small talk into big talk
I really enjoy small talk. It is a safe way to practice and develop certain communication skills.
However, we will never fully succeed as Breakthrough Communicators if "small talk" never matures into "big talk".
The difference between "small talk" and "big talk"?
Intention and expectation.
It is human nature to want things from other's. To have needs, desires, goals, and dreams. A big part of building healthy, secure relationships and loving communities is setting goals and relying on others to help us achieve them.
So I want you to start adding "intention" and "expectation" to your daily conversations.
Speaking to Authority Figures
So here are Five Tips to Remember when Speaking to Authority Figures:
1) Have a Plan
What are your goals for this encounter? Do you want to get your boss excited about a new idea? Are you trying to survive a speeding ticket? Knowing and preparing to get what you want enables you to be perceived as knowledgeable, confident, and collected. I heard a story once about a woman, driving near a police station, who was pulled over for a traffic violation. When the officer asked, “Do you know why I pulled you over,” her response was “to impress your buddies over there.” The police officer laughed, and the woman was let off without a ticket. I want to emphasize, I am not advocating for snark in the presence of a police officer. That being said, this woman—facing an undesirable situation—had a plan. Her preparedness allowed her to get what she wanted—avoiding a ticket. This same planning (not the same plan!) should be taken into any situation when speaking with authority figures. Your preparation and planning adds credibility to your ideas, proposals, when interviewing, or when you’re standing up for a decision. You are more likely to be appreciated, respected, and ultimately heard.