What's Your Process/Trust Your Process: Part 2, Trust Your Process!
I was going to get a “D” on my final exam.
I was embarrassed, near tears, and in my defeat discovered something remarkable.
The freedom of letting go.
Every student was given a second chance. Three more arrows. I knew I couldn't do worse than seven, so I gave up overthinking and just trusted my muscle memory.
Breakthrough Communicators: How to establish an instant connection
It does not matter the format. Whether it is in person, on video, or over the phone, Breakthrough Communicators make eye contact.
So what does that look like?
In-Person: Make eye contact at least 70% of the time. This benefits both parties.
Ever heard the saying, "the shortest distance between two points is a straight line"?
The shortest distance between you and the child in charge is eye contact.
The energy of your intention and expectation flows directly to your intended target.
Furthermore, when you are making eye contact with your other, they are making eye contact with you. Which means they are more likely to hear and receive the information you are sharing, and you’re building greater know, like, and trust and stronger personal and professional relationships.
Breakthrough Communicators: How to speak directly to the decision maker
Today we see our relationships for who they really are.
Did you ever read Matilda by Roald Dahl? If not, here's a one-sentence summary: a young girl develops magical powers in response to the abuse, trauma and mistreatment she experiences at the hands of her family, peers, and a tyrannical headmistress.
It's a wonderful story which beautifully captures the self-defense mechanisms we create in response to the hurt, trauma, and abuse we experience in our early lives.
As human beings we have core needs which must be met. Love, security, community. And as children we take these core needs for granted. We assume, even expect, food, clothing, shelter, love, companionship, play.
Then something happens which disrupts the expectation of our basic needs. A meal is skipped. Betrayal by a friend. Physical abuse in the home. And out of our survivalist mindset comes that first layer of protection.
Breakthrough Communicators: How to turn small talk into big talk
I really enjoy small talk. It is a safe way to practice and develop certain communication skills.
However, we will never fully succeed as Breakthrough Communicators if "small talk" never matures into "big talk".
The difference between "small talk" and "big talk"?
Intention and expectation.
It is human nature to want things from other's. To have needs, desires, goals, and dreams. A big part of building healthy, secure relationships and loving communities is setting goals and relying on others to help us achieve them.
So I want you to start adding "intention" and "expectation" to your daily conversations.
Breakthrough Communicators: How to perfect your communication
But the performers who stand out most to me are the ones who did the work outside of rehearsal. Those few, special people who were memorized before the rest of the cast and came to rehearsal with bold ideas.
Those actors always grew the most in rehearsal and were stand-outs in performance because they made a commitment to taking ownership of their work, not just for the few hours we rehearsed, but during every available second and opportunity.
That level of commitment makes a huge difference.
And it's what I ask of you today.
Breakthrough Communicators make a Commitment to Conversation.
They practice, prepare, rehearse everyday.
Not just in front of a mirror.
Not just by reading a book.
But by engaging real human beings in conversation every day.