Stop Communicating for Yourself, Start Communicating for Others

When did we turn communication into a technical sport?

Psychology Today, TED Talks, LinkedIn posts—they all orbit the same gravitational pull: communication as technical proficiency. Be confident. Be clear. Eliminate filler words. Own your power language. Master your non-verbal cues. Listen actively.

But to what end?

I’m not here to argue against those skills. I’ve built my coaching practice on them. I know what communication best practices looks like onstage. I know how to perform them. I know how to teach them.

But here’s what most people don’t know: technical proficiency is meaningless if you don’t know what to do with it.

For years, I was a technically proficient communicator. So were my clients. And still, we struggled. Not because we lacked skill—but because we weren’t playing action. We weren’t communicating for others. We were communicating for ourselves.

The Trap of Technical Fluency

When communication becomes a checklist of best practices, it stops being a tool for influence and starts being a personality marker. You sound confident. You look polished. You’re clear, precise, authentic. And your audience? They admire you. They nod. They smile. And then… nothing happens.

Because you never asked them to do anything.

When we omit our audience as the central focus of our communication, we stop influence before it can even begin. Our job isn’t to be clear. Or confident. Or authentic. Our job is to provoke movement. Change. Action.

Why Technical Proficiency Sabotages Great Communicators

1. It puts your audience last.
   If all you’re asking your audience to do is admire your communication skills, you’ve already lost them. Influence requires more than performance—it requires provocation.

2. It limits your pathway to success.
   Most communicators build their technical fluency around their own bias. The challenger sharpens clarity and brevity. The supporter leans into empathy and listening. But what if that's not what your audience needs? What if they need guidance, reassurance, or direct instruction?

3. It’s safe.
   Communicating for technical proficiency gives you a neat little checklist of skills to master. If your audience doesn’t move, that’s on them—because you showed up as the communicator you want to be. But that’s not influence. That’s self-protection. Real communication means removing the safety net. It means adjusting in real time, expanding your tool belt, and using skills that aren’t always comfortable. It means putting everything on the line for your audience.

Communication Skills Are Not the End Game

They’re the scaffolding. The means to provoke specific, measurable, observable action in your audience. That’s playing action. That’s influence.

Ready to Move Beyond Proficiency?

Let’s talk. Book a free consultation on your next communication challenge. We’ll shift your focus from proficiency to provocation—and build a strategy that puts your audience at the center and your influence in motion.